Bets Off
by Vietta
Summary: A bet Reno can only barely manage to fulfill and Rude's side of it isn't holding up much better.
1. Chapter 1

Rude had never been more humiliated in his life. Overnight every single piece of clothing in his closet had been dyed a horrible shade of pink. Somehow even the clothes he was wearing had undergone the horrifying transformation. He swore to himself for what seemed like the hundredth time to never get drunk again. He made this insistent vow every week yet Friday night would roll around and he would be next to Reno and on drink number four before he thought drinking was a bad idea again. He would remember to keep it this week however as he had a more consistent reminder than a hangover, that reminder being horridly pink and staring him in the face. How Reno had managed to convince him that drinking on a Sunday night was a good idea he'd never know, but Reno was good at convincing people to do things they knew they shouldn't.

He sighed and opened his dresser fearing the worst but found that he hadn't been scared enough. Reno had tried to dye his pants pink but they had turned purple. It was then that Rude realized that Reno must have been slowly dying his clothes for quite some time now as Rude hadn't been able to find some of these clothes in weeks. He didn't know how he had ever been so unobservant and he mentally slapped himself for letting his guard down even a fraction around the wily red-head. He flipped open his PHS and placed a call to Tseng, hoping that he might be able to procure a new uniform for himself without having to go through the gut wrenching humiliation that was sure to plague him if he had to walk through the Shinra building wearing such an unorthodox and wretched color. He didn't like his odds.

_"Rude? Why are you calling so early?_" Tseng sounded confused, but not surprised. Rude could tell from the slightly amused tone in the mans voice.

He cleared his throat, "Sir......Reno's dyed my clothes pink." He could hear Tseng clear his throat in an obvious attempt not to laugh and he couldn't blame him. He knew he would find this funny later, but at the moment....well, at the moment he would like to beat his redheaded friend until he turned some fun colors.

_"Unfortunately we don't have any of the old uniforms anymore. We just sent in for new ones at Rufus's request. Apparently blue uniforms make us stand out so we have to get black. They should be here in a few days. Until then, however, you'll have to make due._" Tseng let out an uncharacteristic snigger.

Now Rude understood why Tseng had had such trouble controlling his laughter. "I understand sir." And he flipped his PHS shut without a goodbye. He ran a hand over his face and groaned inwardly. This would undoubtedly be a long day.

He took a shower and got dressed without pausing to look in the mirror. Feeling that sometimes it's just better if you don't know how ridiculous you look. He straightened his tie with as much dignity as he could muster and left his room to find the culprit to his dilemma red-handed and passed out on his sofa. Reno was literally red-handed from the dye he had used to make Rude look like a pissed off business clown. Rude had no idea what he had done to get his clothes tampered with, but he decided then and there that he best earn his punishment. He searched through his desk and found the tool to Reno's humiliation, a bright green permanent marker. He didn't know what he was going to write on Reno's face, but he felt he had to do something. He walked over to the sleeping Turk and at a lack of words crude enough to show his anger he simply began scribbling over Reno's entire face. Reno didn't start once and Rude realized he must have drank quite a lot to be out this cold.

He stepped back and saw with some satisfaction that Reno now closely resembled a three year olds drawing of a christmas tree. He capped his marker and left for work with a small triumphant smile.

* * *

After he entered the Shinra elevator he knew he should have chosen the stairs over the glass walled compartment he was riding in now as no one ever really used the stairs. Since he didn't think of it sooner he was now going to be on display for everyone to see in all his pink and purple glory. He sighed and pushed the button for his floor. It was going to be a _really_ long day.

Reno walked in to work about the time Rude had finished his morning coffee. Thankfully Rude had spent most of the morning in his office and hadn't had to deal with any taunting, but he knew it would come eventually. Reno, however, was about to get teased mercilessly by Elena as she still held a grudge against him for the time he dyed her hair pink. Reno had something for pink dye that made Rude wonder about him, but he didn't have much time to ponder the idea as Reno had just whipped Rude's office door open so violently that it slammed into the wall adjacent to it before it's momentum shut it.

Reno was livid. Rude could tell he had spent all morning trying to scrub the marker off his face, but much to his delight he had had limited success. He now gripped the edges of Rude's desk so hard his knuckles were white and he leaned his face close enough to Rude's that he could count the pores on his nose.

"What the hell did you do to my face!?" Reno was practically frothing at the mouth in fury.

Rude didn't answer immediately, instead pulling out another file and giving it a glance over while Reno tried to stare him down.

Reno slammed his hand on the file, successfully preventing Rude from working on it. Reno was angry and by Shiva he was going to let Rude know it. "I said, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FACE!!!" Reno started to crumple Rude's file in anger but the bald man quicky pulled it out of his hands and placed it neatly into his desk drawer.

"I believe, I got payback on your face Reno." Rude pointedly pulled at the lapels of his fluorescent pink suit jacket.

Reno looked down at Rude's clothes, confused for a moment. Then the color of the uniform suddenly dawned on him. "Oh yeah... I forgot I did that. Sorry partner, been doing that for weeks now. I had it planned that the new uniforms would be in today so ya wouldn't have to wear pink all day but they got delayed in shipping 'cause of somethin' stupid."

Rude blinked, confused. Reno had known about new uniforms and he hadn't? "How did you know we were getting new uniforms?" He held back his desire to laugh at Reno's green face, which Reno seemed to have forgotten about for the moment.

Reno laughed and plopped down into the chair across from Rude's desk, "I kept ya outta the loop pretty well huh?" He laughed again, "I've been grabbing your memo's from Tseng off your desk while ya weren't paying attention. Pretty smart eh?"

Rude ran his hand over his face. How the hell had he not noticed that all memo's from Tseng, which were generally a daily occurrence, had suddenly stopped?

Reno laughed again, "I got you pretty good this time partner." He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on Rude's desk as Rude pulled out his slightly crumpled file and went back to work, a small grunt his only response.

* * *

Reno spent most of his time at work in Rude's office just talking. He didn't need Rude to respond to anything he said, he just needed to hear his own voice. Rude paid attention most of the time as Reno's stories were _far_ more interesting than his paper work and he occasionally gave a small nod or head shake or whatever gesture Reno required to keep his stories going. It was kind of comforting listening to Reno drone on and on without a care in the world and Rude knew he had heard most of these stories more than once, but he didn't truly care.

Sometime after lunch Tseng walked into the office as Rude finished his last file for the day. He cleared his throat to get Reno to stop his story about a recent bar fight he'd been in, one of many bar fight stories, and then he held up a file and placed it on Rude's desk.

"I've got a job for the two of you. President needs body guards for his meeting with the head of a small company we're trying to incorporate into Shinra. It's the usual job. Stand and look menacing, keep an eye out for any idiots who think they should kill Rufus, and try not to die yourselves in the process. It's scheduled for next week but considering how fickle our President is about his schedule lately I figured I'd let you know in advance. Hopefully by then we'll have our new suits and," he looked at Reno's green face with a smirk, "a way to remove that permanent marker." With that Tseng turned on his heel and left.

Reno rubbed his face and scowled. He had forgotten all about Rude's 'payback' from this morning. He supposed that he probably deserved it, but he still had plans to get Rude back for it somehow. The crap he'd been getting from Elena any time he so much as poked his head out of the office was enough to make him feel rather vindictive.

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Author's Note: As promised, I am remaking this story! Same plot line, same events, same characters, I'm just making sure its grammatically acceptable and that scene near the end that has made some of you so angry with me will now be created instead of left to be all cliffhanger!**

**R&R!!! I still appreciate reviews on this story!**


	2. Chapter 2

Reno stood up and stretched, his back making a pleasant cracking sound as it popped into place. He had some planning to do so he left Rude's office with a wave and went to his own. Of course, he had to pass Elena's office on the way there, but he quietly pushed her door shut as he walked by to try and keep her from noticing him. Unfortunately, she hadn't been in her office but had been at the water cooler watching him approach with a smile she didn't try to hide. Reno and Elena had been at odds since she started working for the Turks as his replacement after he got the snot knocked out of him by Cloud and his friends, which Reno didn't hold against them. Reno had just never gotten over the fact that Tseng had tried to replace him with a girl. It just didn't make any sense to him. Sure, Elena was qualified to be a Turk even though most of the time she acted like she was fresh out of training but still, he made a point most days of letting her know she wasn't as good as he was. Also, she was just plain fun to mess with.

"Reno," Elena laughed happily, obviously enjoying Rude's payback, "you look different today, did you do something with your hair?"

Reno shot her a fake smile and gave her as cheerily sarcastic a voice as he could manage, "Actually no, I did something with my face. Maybe you should try it too! Green marker does _wonders_ for the skin!"

"I'll try to remember that Reno." She laughed as she took another smug sip of her water.

He shrugged and walked into his office. He didn't always have to show her up and right now he felt he had better things to do than swap insults with Elena.

Reno sat down and propped his feet up on a few files Tseng had decided to shove into his inbox and began plotting. Rude would be wearing all pink for a few days which made him feel slightly better about his green face, but he still wanted to provoke Rude again. Getting Rude angry was one of his hobbies, probably because seeing his bald friend show emotion of any kind always made his day brighter, even when it was anger. Rude rarely ever retaliated to Reno's pranks but it would seem that Reno had pushed a very temperamental button in messing with Rude's appearance. He logged that fact away knowing that later he could use it to his advantage. He already knew how to push most of Rude's buttons, but he hadn't used this one before and it made him smile to know that his friend was still chock-full of surprises after all their years working together.

* * *

Rude finished his file with relief. He was glad that it was the last one for the day and hoped that Tseng wouldn't find anymore for him to fill out. He grabbed the folder containing the details of his next mission with Reno and put it off to the side to look at later. He rolled his chair away from his desk and started spinning it in circles. He loved rolling chairs, they were the most entertaining part of his day. He knew Reno was probably going to try and get him back for the green marker trick but he didn't truly care. Reno did plenty of things to mess with Rude but he never actually hurt him or did any permanent damage. Even his clothing situation would be sorted out in a few days so there wasn't much to worry about.

After his third revolution he noticed a slim brunette figure leaning against his door frame. Stephanie always managed to enter his office without making any noise which scared him a little, but what else could he expect of an ex-SOLDIER trainee gone Turk? He nodded, showing her that he didn't mind if she came in and continued spinning his chair. After Stephanie's body had rejected the mako treatments she had been removed from the SOLDIER program and placed in the Turk program so her talent wouldn't go to waste. She still acted like a rookie, but Rude knew she was more capable than she let on.

She took the seat Reno had recently vacated and turned it around so she could lean over the back of it while talking to Rude. She quizzically looked Rude up and down and he watched a small smile cross her features. "You loose another bet with Reno?" She smirked at him and he continued to turn his chair in slow circles.

"No." He folded his hands over his stomach and stared at the ceiling as he continued to rotate.

"Then why are you wearing pink?" Rude could almost hear her confused frown before he saw it.

"Reno dyed my clothes. I got him back though. Take a look at his face later and you'll see." The spinning was starting to make him sick so he stopped and faced her.

She gave a derisive snort and laughed. "I bet you did." Rude chuckled softly. "So what do you think he's going to do for payback?"

Rude thought it was funny how she could read Reno almost as well as he could even though she hadn't known him very long. "No idea."

"You'll find out soon enough I suppose. He doesn't usually wait long to get back at you now does he?" She smiled, "Probably wont be anything too serious though. He knows the line between fun and mean." Rude gave a small grunt of agreement. Stephanie had spent enough time around the Turk to know what his grunts usually meant. "I miss you guys making bets though. It's been forever since I've seen Reno squirm trying to hold up his end of one of your bets while trying to make you drop yours."

Rude laughed at that. It had been a long time since he and Reno had truly gone to competition with each other. Usually Rude created the terms of the bet but after his last challenge he figured it was best they lay off for awhile. He had made Reno stop drinking for a month and Reno had spent most of that time hiding under his desk in the fetal position which made him useless to everyone. Reno had won, however Rude didn't think the prize he got for winning was quite worth it, 100 gil didn't amount to much after a month of Tseng threatening to fire him if he didn't crawl out from under the desk. It was an empty threat and everyone knew it, but Tseng had tried anyways.

"Remember our last bet?" He knew before he asked that she did.

She laughed, "Of course I do! Reno was pathetic without any alcohol in his system. Is that why you're afraid of issuing another challenge? Don't want Reno to be a waste of space again?"

Rude nodded and smiled. He never considered Reno a waste of space, but in essence Stephanie was right. A month of doing nothing but shaking under a desk could be construed as wasting space.

"You should think of something that won't mess him up then. Of course, trying to get him to drop a bad habit for a while isn't a bad thing, but Reno doesn't do well without beer. Maybe you should find a different vice to break." Stephanie watched as Rude contemplated the idea of another bet with Reno. She always enjoyed watching the two Turks try to outdo each other and she knew that any bet they made would probably lead to conflict but still, it was nice to have some entertainment every now and again.

Stephanie stood and placed Rude's chair in it's proper position. She still had paperwork to do for a mission she and Elena had botched a few weeks ago. For some reason the two just didn't work together as well as Reno and Rude did. They were friends true enough, but they never quite understood each other like Reno and Rude could. She figured the strange mind reading powers they seemed to have would come with time.

She smiled and left, closing the door behind her. Rude took off his sunglasses and cleaned them while pondering just what habit he should try to break Reno from next. Of course, he knew his attempt would probably fail, but it was always worth a try.

* * *

Six o'clock found Rude in the parking lot getting ready to leave. Reno had already left an hour or two ago as he almost never stayed at work the required amount of time but no one minded. Occasionally Tseng would have to grouch at Reno about it, but in truth no one gave a damn. What could they do, fire him? The ridiculousness of this thought made Rude laugh as he unlocked his car and climbed in. As Rude put on his seatbelt Tseng knocked on his window. He rolled it down, "Yes Tseng?"

Tseng shoved a small bottle into Rude's hand, "This should take that crap off of Reno's face. Give it to him when you feel like it but make sure he gets it off before the mission next week alright? Just got a call and the uniforms should be in tomorrow so you won't have to wear pink much longer."

Rude grunted a thank you and pulled out of the lot. He didn't know if he felt merciful enough to give Reno the bottle of remover just yet, but he figured he probably should. He didn't know how long he could laugh at Reno's embarrassment.

Rude entered his apartment to the familiar scene of Reno sitting on his couch watching TV, a beer in hand. He walked into the kitchen and threw the bottle of remover to Reno on his way.

"What's this crap?" Reno asked getting off the sofa and following Rude into the kitchen. He unscrewed the bottle and sniffed its contents carefully. Rude heard Reno gag behind him and smiled. "This smells like shit!"

"Wasn't supposed to smell like strawberries Reno." Rude opened a beer of his own and set it on the counter.

"What's it for?" Reno scooped a small portion out with his pinky and rubbed it on the table. He didn't have any reason for wiping it on the table, but he figured it might make Rude mad so he did it anyways.

Rude sighed and hoped the cream wouldn't eat the polish off his table. "It's to get the marker off your face genius."

Reno looked at the cream again, doubtful. "Really?"

"If you like having a green face I can take it back you know." Rude stretched a hand out to grab the bottle.

Reno clutched the bottle to his chest. "Hell no man!" Reno ran to the bathroom, vaulting over the couch on his way. Rude laughed, he knew that threatening Reno would make him use the cleaner. He went to his room and changed into a pair of comfortable sweats that had been, until that morning, gray.

Reno looked at his face in the mirror after he washed it for the second time with the cream Rude had given him. His face burned like hell and was slightly red, but at least the marker was gone. He capped the bottle and put it in the medicine cabinet in case he needed it later and walked back out to the living room to find Rude on the couch wearing pink sweats. The sight made Reno giggle as he leaped over the arm of the couch and landed next to Rude. He grabbed what was left of his beer and chugged it down before laying on the couch, his head resting in Rude's lap. He knew Rude didn't care much about personal space when it came to him so he often took the liberty of using Rude for a pillow. Rude made a better pillow than most because Rude would play with Reno's hair while they watched TV. Reno supposed Rude liked to mess with his hair so much because he didn't have any of his own. It was probably a good thing Rude didn't have any hair, Reno couldn't imagine his beefy bald friend with a head full of black locks and he was pretty sure he would laugh at him.

After a while Reno fell asleep in Rude's lap with a happy smile on his face. Rude turned off the TV and stretched as best he could without waking him. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes, he was tired but he didn't want to risk waking Reno up. He glanced at the clock on the DVD player and realized they had been watching TV for about four hours. They hadn't even eaten dinner. This surprised Rude as usually around seven Reno was either begging for food or scarfing it down but he figured Reno had probably eaten before he got home. He got up as carefully as he could and set Reno down gently on the couch. Reno snored lightly and rolled over, burying his face into the cushions and dangling his arm towards the floor.

Rude quickly and quietly fixed himself a small snack before tiptoeing to bed and setting his alarm clock. He still had no idea what he was going to make a bet with Reno over even though he'd been thinking on it the entire time they watched TV, but he figured Stephanie could help him in the morning.

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**Author's Note: I took some creative liberty and added my own character :) I'm rather proud of her role in this story however so don't get pissy at me for her. She's my brain child and I have every right to make her :P **

**I missed this story, I'm having so much fun rereading it as I edit!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Rude woke up the next morning intensely sorry that he had not gone to bed sooner the night before. Waking up at five thirty in the morning wasn't pleasant any day, but on a day where he had less sleep then normal it was even less pleasant. He stretched and headed for the shower grabbing his clothes as he went and hoping to Shiva that Tseng had been right about the new uniforms arriving that day.

Once Rude was dressed and dry he walked to the couch and gave it a kick laughing as a sleep-fogged Reno toppled out of it in shock. Reno sat on the floor looking confused for a moment before looking up at Rude. Reno's face immediately broke into a wide grin and he pushed himself to a standing position. "Hey partner. Gonna be sad when you get that boring black uniform aren't ya?" Rude grunted and shoved Reno towards the shower. Reno laughed, "Guess not."

Rude sighed and starting fixing coffee and eggs. He didn't really feel like having any eggs, but eggs were the only things he could cook without setting the apartment on fire. There had been a few attempts at cooking in the past, but experience had taught Rude that he should never cook anything that wasn't microwavable unless it was eggs.

After breakfast the two Turks got into Rude's car and made their way to work, Reno complaining as usual about not taking his car. "Come on why can't we take mine?" Reno asked for what seemed like the millionth time. "It's uses less gas and chicks dig it more!"

"We don't take your car because then you would drive." Rude had taken Reno up on his offer of driving them to work once and only once. Since then it had always been Rude's job to do the driving. Rude felt the other drivers on the road owed him thanks for this.

"I almost rear-end one old lady and you freak out forever!" Reno sat back in his seat and pouted.

Rude grunted, it was no use trying to tell Reno that Reno didn't _almost_ rear-end that lady. He rear-ended her enough to scratch a good amount of paint from both cars. Rude had taken care of it of course, but Reno always swore that she had backed into him. Rude knew better.

After they parked, Reno still pouting, they headed for the elevator and made their way up to their floor. Rude wished Reno would stop acting upset about not driving, but he knew that Reno would stop when he felt like it and if he told him to stop it would last longer. Rude knew that once Reno saw Elena or Stephanie though he would be functioning at full capacity again. Seeing Elena would make him eager to tease and seeing Stephanie would make him flirt like he'd never seen a woman in his life. Rude found it hilarious because neither Stephanie nor Reno were actually interested in a relationship, but they both flirted with each other unabashedly.

As they walked onto the office floor however, they were greeted with the sight of several large boxes piled in the hall. Confused they wound their way up the stream of boxes and found Tseng busily directing people with more.

"Put that over there and don't block office doors! I don't care if the office is in use or not alright?" Tseng was barking orders and Reno thought he looked pissed.

"Hey boss-man what's up with all these boxes?" Reno sat on top of one and kicked his legs absentmindedly.

"Our new uniforms. Rufus ordered enough to clothe the entire city and then some. We'll fit you boys later though, for now help me get some of these organized will you?" Tseng was filling out forms for one of the delivery men while he spoke.

"Sure thing boss." Reno slid off the box, "Where do we put what?"

Tseng turned around, brushing his hair out of his face as he moved. It looked like he hadn't had time to arrange it that morning. "Put boxes with shoes in a pile over there, boxes with pants over there, boxes with shirts over there, ties over there, and jackets over there." He pointed to indicate where he wanted each pile to be and then went towards his office, "I'm sorry but I have calls to make to get some of this stuff put in storage before our floor becomes an obstacle course."

Reno grabbed the nearest box and tried to pick it up. "Holy hell!" he groaned as he got it a few inches off the floor, "This thing weighs a ton!"

Rude smirked and took the box from Reno easily lifting it off the floor and walking away with it. Reno started pouting again and Rude couldn't help but laugh. Reno was cute when he pouted, but Rude would never tell him for fear of being called a homo for months. Also, Reno's head was inflated enough without Rude's help.

Reno reached for another box and decided that the boxes with ties were probably the only things he was going to be able to move. After all, these were big boxes.

They worked by themselves for awhile and eventually the floor started looking less hectic, especially after Stephanie and Elena showed up to help. Elena wasn't very strong but she and Reno could work together to lift boxes and Stephanie could carry them on her own like Rude. Reno was rather jealous of that fact, but he got over it. He saw no use in pouting for very long, his happy go lucky attitude didn't lave room for any angry.

With the four of them working they were soon able to sort out the chaos their floor had been left in and sometime after that they were all decked out in shiny black shoes and somber black suits. Rude had felt like dancing for joy when he finally got rid of the pink suit he had been wearing, but he restrained himself. Tseng gave them all several outfits of the suits to keep at home because, "If Rufus ordered them then by Shiva we're going to wear them!" Once all this was sorted out they were sent to their offices, each with a large pile of paperwork to do, although Reno's pile was slightly smaller than the others.

Rude worked fast and got most of his work done by lunch so he didn't feel bad about taking some time out to find Stephanie and hear her plans for the bet. He knocked on her office door and pushed it open to find her spinning in her chair with a half-finished file open on her desk. "Gods above this is boring." She said and she stopped spinning and faced Rude with a cheery smile. "Figured out your bet yet?"

Rude shook his head and took a seat across from her with his legs crossed.

She smiled wider, "I figured you wouldn't find a vice you wanted to mess with on your own. I've got an idea though if you don't mind hearing it."

Rude cracked a small grin, "I was hoping you would help."

Stephanie's smile was almost scarily huge now, "I say you bet that he goes without sex for a month."

Rude's grin disappeared, "You realize a Reno without sex is an unhappy Reno and when Reno isn't happy he makes damn sure no one else is either."

"I know, but I think it would be funny as hell watching him try to keep himself together without sex. He buys a hooker every time he goes out and I've noticed he brings one night stands to the apartment complex all the time. I don't think he could function without sex and by without sex I mean no porn either. He can't buy a hooker, he can't pick up chicks or get picked up by guys or any of that. He just has to stop having sex cold turkey for a month. You could make it two weeks if you want but I think a month would be more fun to watch."

Rude frowned slightly, it was true that Reno either paid for or tricked someone into sex on an almost daily basis but that didn't really bother Rude so long as Reno kept his various one-nighters out of his apartment. He reflected that it would be fun to watch Reno try to deal with pent up hormones for a month though and truth be told, he liked the idea.

Stephanie picked up her file, "So? Are you gonna do it?"

Rude smiled and stood, "I think so."

Stephanie grinned at him over the file, "Let me know how this turns out alright?"

Rude nodded and left her office, closing the door behind him. He made his way to Reno's office and knocked on the door.

"Why does everyone knock? Why the hell don't ya just barge in?" Reno was busy crumpling old papers and tossing them in the bin across the room. So far only a few of them had landed in the bin, but that didn't stop his efforts.

Rude shut the door and caught Reno's next projectile before it hit the bin and unfolded it. "Reno you need this file, it's only a week old."

Reno threw then next page of said file towards the bin, "It's just a copy of a week old file. Move yo you're blocking my shot!"

Rude shook his head and sat down in the chair across from Reno's desk. Reno's office was quite a mess. Reno almost never cleaned anything unless strictly told to do so by Tseng or when Rude threatened to beat him black and blue if he didn't. Reno liked his office the way it was, cluttered and relaxed. He could find everything in it, if given a bit of time to search, and he didn't see cleanliness or neatness as a big deal, which anyone could tell by his appearance alone. "What brings you in partner?" Reno asked as he missed the bin again.

"I've got a bet for you." Rude answered with a small grin.

"Another bet?" Reno missed again. "I thought you swore those off?"

"It's been a while since our last bet so Stephanie decided we should have another one. She's not participating though, it's just gonna be you and me, like always."

Reno smiled as he finally made it into the bin. "The stakes of the bet?"

Rude grinned, knowing he simply had to offer a juicy enough prize to get Reno in on the deal. "Five hundred gil."

Reno whistled appreciatively. "Five hundred huh? I'm in. What kind of bet are we making?"

Rude chuckled, he knew Reno would agree before ever hearing what the bet even was. "No sex, hookers, or porn for a month and no picking up any girls or getting picked up by any guys. You will also stay at work until shift officially ends so that I know you aren't sneaking a quickie in while I'm finishing up here. Think you can handle that?"

Reno chuckled, "Can I handle it? Of course I can handle it Rude! This bet will be too easy for you though since you never get laid or even _try_ ta get laid. I think your side of the bet should be ta get laid, and not with Stephanie either. She probably expected me ta try and turn tables on ya and she'd do anything ta make me lose. Ya can't fuck Elena either, simply for your own health. I don't care if you decide ta go after Tseng though, that might be fun ta hear about." Reno laughed as he made it into the bin again.

"So I just have to pull a one night stand this month? Reno you're making this too easy. If I get someone drunk enough they won't refuse a good romp." Rude chuckled knowing full well he wouldn't do that unless he absolutely couldn't 'get laid' any other way.

Reno laughed, "Yup, ya pull a one nighter and ya win your five hundred, I don't do anything and keep it in my pants for a month and I win mine right?"

"It's a deal then." Rude reached out his hand and they shook on it.

"This'll be fun partner." Reno said as he shot another paper into the bin.

Rude grunted and left the office turning at the door, "We start today Reno so make sure you stay all shift or you lose." Rude shut the door as Reno began whining out profanities. This was going to be one hell of a month.

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Authors Note: Yay! Bets on! :D **


	4. Chapter 4

Reno leaned back in his chair and sighed. He had to stay till shift was over and the boredom was going to kill him. He had already tossed all of his extra papers into the bin, although most of them didn't make it, and he had even attempted to fill out some paperwork but that had been even more boring than doing nothing. He stood up and stretched before walking out of his office. Maybe he would pay Elena a visit.

"Oh Laney-poo! Are you home?" Reno knocked loudly on her office door.

He heard her sigh, "Go away Reno."

"Aww you don't wanna see me Laney?" He leaned against the door frame.

"Obviously not." He could almost hear the scowl he knew would be plastered on her face from the moment he entered to the moment he left.

"Aww come on Laney you know you miss me." Reno twisted her doorknob. Her office was locked. "Yo Laney why'd you lock me out?"

"Because I don't want you in here Reno." She was starting to sound miffed.

Reno smiled. "Anyone who heard that would think you didn't like me Laney." He pulled a paperclip out of his pocket and started to pick the lock to her office. It clicked open after a few seconds and he pushed the door open.

"That's because I don't like you!" Laney threw her pen at Reno but he dodged it easily.

"Jeez Laney PMS much?" He laughed as she threw another pen. "Alright I'm going I'm going. You're lucky I like you Laney, otherwise you'd be in so much trouble." She stuck her tongue out at him and he replied in kind before shutting the door.

He laughed his way towards Rude's office. He never got tired of messing with Elena. It was quite possibly his favorite past time, after eating, getting plastered, and getting laid of course. He opened Rude's office to find that Rude, for once, wasn't in there. He sat in Rude's chair and started spinning thinking he would wait until Rude came back but then he heard his friends burly voice coming from across the hall.

Reno stood up and walked towards Stephanie's office. He opened the door and let himself in, she was used to him doing that by now, and he took a seat beside Rude.

"Hey Stephy, hey Rude, what be happening yo?" Reno propped his feet on her desk, careful not to hit any of her files, he had learned early on that that wasn't a good idea.

"Hey Reno we we're just talking about you." Stephanie looked up from her paperwork with a smile and tapped Reno's shoe. "You've got gum on the bottom of your shoe by the way."

Reno grabbed a tissue from the box on Stephanie's desk and started to pry the gum off his shoe, "Saying good things?"

"Nope." Stephanie said with a chuckle, "I don't think you'll last more than a week with this bet of yours."

Rude chuckled, "I at least give you two weeks to cave Reno."

"I can go a month without sex you know. It's not like it's going to kill me to keep it in my pants." He pried the last chunk of gum from his shoe and threw the tissue in the trash bin by Stephanie's desk.

Rude laughed again, "That's what you said about no beer for a month. I do remember you sat under your desk in the fetal position for quite some time." Reno stuck his tongue out at Rude and leaned his chair back.

"So? That was beer, beer is different. Beer flows through my veins. Sex doesn't."

Stephanie held back a laugh and flipped her file shut. "Sorry boys but you need to go spend some quality time in Rude's office now. I've got to see Tseng about my next mission with Elena."

Reno made a face, "Eww! You're talking to Tseng and hanging out with Elena? Just when I though their might be hope for you!"

Stephanie grabbed her file and pushed Reno in the chest, causing his chair to topple over. "You know you shouldn't lean on those. They aren't very sturdy."

Reno picked himself off the floor and brushed off his jacket. "Last time I ever badmouth Tseng in front of you. Elena is still fair game however. Just 'cause it's Laney."

Stephanie rolled her eyes and followed Rude out of her office while Reno shut the door behind them. She didn't really see a problem with Tseng or Elena but Reno was funny about who he chose to lack respect for. It was best just to think of it as Reno being Reno.

For once Reno stayed the entire shift and at six o'clock he was hopping into Rude's car and complaining about it. Rude pretty much ignored Reno, or at least made it seem like he was because in reality he thought it was funny as anything when Reno decided to rant about things and this small tantrum was no different.

When they finally got home, Reno still complaining, he had switched topics however, they did the same thing they did most every night. Ate dinner, drank beer, and watched TV. Usually nothing was on at this hour except horribly cheesy old movies that Reno loved to play peanut gallery on and this kept him awake long enough for Rude to head to bed at a decent hour without having to stay quiet. Reno continued watching movies until long after Rude had fallen asleep and the fact the Rude could sleep through all the racket Reno was causing was a testament to his ability to tolerate the obnoxious red-head.

Author's Note: Sorry this was such a short chapter. Hopefully the next on will make up for it just like I hope me posting 3 chapters tonight makes up for my not posting them sooner. Blame my computer not me :) Reviews are, as always, optional but also, they are always welcome :) Just don't be too harsh on me ok? :)


	5. Chapter 5

It had been almost five days since Reno had agreed to the bet and Rude could already see that he was starting to crack. Being forced to stay at the office the entire shift was making Reno irritable to no end and the pent up hormones from the sudden lack of sex probably weren't helping his mood any either. Rude could see large bags under Reno's eyes as they rode the elevator up to the Turk floor and the fact that he hadn't really said anything since he had woken up unnerved Rude. Seeing Reno silent was a rare occasion and the sight of Reno looking somewhat depressed made Rude feel like he was kicking a small, sick, very broken puppy. Maybe Stephanie was right when she said it would only take a week for Reno to forfeit the bet.

They met Tseng in his office and began to go over what was required for their mission as today's presidential bodyguards.

"Okay, I know we've gone over this a million and three times but I have to give you the details one last time and I swear this will be the last time I brief you on this. Think of this as my way to make you completely sick of the mission before it ever starts okay?" Tseng was pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and stirring sugar into his coffee with the other.

Reno gave an obviously bored sigh and slid down in his chair until the top of his head was level with Tseng's desk.

Another packet of sugar disappeared into Tseng's coffee, "There will be two cars. Both will arrive at the same location but they will take separate routes to get there. Reno will ride with the President and Rude will ride with the President's double. You are both to act as if you've got the actual President with you."

Reno started to twirl his hair around his finger and eyed it quizzically as if he'd never seen it before.

Tseng absentmindedly poured more sugar into his cup, "Once you've reached your destination you will both guard the real President because at that point we truly don't give a damn about his body double. From this point on you need to be within four feet of the President at all times unless he tells you to do otherwise or you're taking out potential assassins. Once the meeting is over you will go back to the Presidents car and come back here. It should be an easy as hell mission for you two. Have you been listening at all Reno?"

Reno sat up and sighed, "Just like the last time ya asked that question, yes. I remember everything you've said concerning my part in this." Reno cleared his throat pointedly, "Two cars, I get the President, within four feet at all times unless told otherwise or killing people, keep your hands in your pockets Reno for gods sake don't you dare fuck this up and at least consider wearing a tie, by the way I considered it and I've decided, once again, ta forgo the whole tie thing. Don't get shot, don't let the President die, and Tseng you've got enough sugar in that coffee ta completely coat the cars we're about ta jump into."

Rude grinned and Tseng laughed despite himself. He'd been steadily adding sugar to his coffee for the past ten minutes or more and hadn't noticed that it wasn't even dissolving anymore but was simply sitting at the bottom of the cup.

"Alright, go on, don't fuck this up alright? I've had enough botched missions for one month and I don't need anymore." Tseng stood up and went to the lobby of their floor to get a new cup of coffee.

"Laney and Stephy butcher another mission?" Reno asked, following Tseng with Rude close behind him.

"Unfortunately yes. I'm putting them both on patrol until they can get their act together." Tseng dropped his cup into a nearby bin and started making himself another.

"Sucks ta be them. Go easy on the sugar this time Tsengy-poo." With that Reno saluted and left for the elevators with Rude behind him.

Reno didn't like to admit it but he was having a tougher time with this bet than he'd thought he would. He'd gone this long without sex but it had always been on his own terms. Now that he wasn't allowed to have sex abstaining from it was like forcing himself to scrape his fingernails on a chalkboard for hours. He thought he was hiding it pretty well though. He knew Rude could see right through the false calm he put on for everyone else though. It didn't bother him that Rude knew what he was thinking about all the time and he kind of liked having someone who was able to read his mind around all the time, it kept him from having to figure his head out on his own because in truth, Reno's head was a scary place even for him.

Reno pulled out his EMR and checked the charge on it as he and Rude exited the elevator. He had charged it that morning but it had been giving him trouble lately so he didn't want to take any chances with it. When they reached the identical cars that would take them and their charges to wherever the hell Rufus had chosen to have his meeting, Reno couldn't remember where that was and he didn't much care, Reno gave Rude a salute and a cocky smile before entering the car with the President. Rufus was leaning against his hand looking out the window and didn't seem to care that Reno had arrived. Reno sat down and stretched his legs out as far as they would go before he set his hands behind his head. "Hey Rufus."

Rufus grunted softly. Reno's lack of respect didn't bother him, Rufus actually found the red-headed Turk's demeanor refreshing since everyone else cowered in his presence. Actually, everything about the red-head was a nice refresher for Rufus. He had requested Reno for that reason. Reno was like a breath of fresh air for the President and that, coupled with the fact that Rufus thought the red-head was gorgeous, made Reno quite a friendly sight for him.

Reno closed his eyes and relaxed as best he could on the ride to gods-knew-where. He knew some asshole was probably going to try and kill the asshole beside him and he wasn't looking forward to that. He didn't really like the President much but he didn't exactly hate him either. Reno didn't truly hate anyone, not even Elena. Sure he thought Rufus was a greedy spoiled prick who needed a healthy dose of reality but he also knew that his life rested on the President's well being so he wasn't going to let his personal feelings interfere with the job at stake. Especially his personal feelings concerning how attractive Rufus managed to be under all the aloof asshole-ness he was oozing from his pores. That just wasn't something he could or should think about right now because one; it would make him horny and two; he needed to keep his head on his shoulders and out of lala land.

Suddenly the car came to a stop. Rufus sat up, there was no way they could be there already. He opened the tinted privacy panel between the cockpit of the car and the seats in the back and the driver immediately began apologizing for the delay and started stammering about traffic and some car crash up ahead. Rufus didn't even bother to hear the man out and shut the panel to drown out his annoying fear-ridden voice.

"Looks like we're stuck here for awhile eh?" Reno wasn't happy about that. He didn't want to just sit in the car. He'd been sitting still for about ten minutes now and it was killing him.

"Looks that way." Rufus sat back down and spread one arm across the back of the seat while he ran the other through his hair. He took a good long look at Reno. The Turk's eyes were closed and his eyelashes gently brushed against his cheeks and Rufus was suddenly felt very tempted to run a finger down one of those tattoos. He knew he was just another paycheck to Reno and he briefly wondered if the Turk would even bother to take a second glance at him if he wasn't President. He almost laughed at the idea that he wouldn't. Second glances were inevitable, he was gorgeous and everyone around him knew it.

"So, how's life Rufus?" Reno hated long silences.

"It's there." Rufus let his eyes drift lower down Reno's form.

"Good for it." Reno sat up and tried to crack his back.

Watching Reno arch and stretch his back gave Rufus ideas. Ideas that Reno probably wouldn't like, at least not at first. Rufus allowed himself an evil grin at the thoughts buzzing through his head. "So what are your hobbies Reno?" Rufus was still wearing that grin, he couldn't seem to wipe it off.

Reno was surprised that Rufus would ask anything about his personal life. He didn't really have any hobbies that he could think of. He sat back and leaned his head on the seat and turned his head lazily to face Rufus. That smile unnerved him just a little. "Well, I guess my hobbies are eatin', drinkin', screwin', and hangin' out with Rude." Reno shrugged, he really didn't do much outside those four things.

Rufus' grin got wider. "I think we can do one of those things right here."

Reno cocked an eyebrow, not catching what Rufus said at first. "Ya got booze stashed in here or something?"

Rufus laughed and shook his head. Reno could sure be dense sometimes. He decided to take proactive measures with the Turk and slid across the seat and straddled Reno. "Not what I meant."

Reno swallowed. He got the gist of Rufus' words now and the fact that Rufus was sitting in his lap made him go hard instantly. His body liked the President more than he wanted it too.

Rufus leaned in close and licked along Reno's lower lip before kissing him deeply. Reno was hesitant but Rufus was turned on by the resistance. He pressed into Reno a bit more and felt Reno stiffen against him. He could tell Reno wanted this because his cock was almost breaking through his pants in an eager salute but he couldn't quite understand why the obviously needy red-head was resisting. He pulled back from Reno's mouth and whispered in his ear as seductively as he could, "What's wrong? Don't you want it?"

Reno stifled a groan and bit his lip. He wanted to fuck Rufus' brain out but he couldn't. He simply couldn't lose the bet, although he seriously considered it as Rufus' breath tickled his ear. "If I said I didn't I'd be lying but I can't." Reno felt the car start moving and then stop again and he prayed to any god that would listen that they reached this place soon.

"Why not?" Rufus started nibbling lightly on Reno's ear as he ran his hands under Reno's shirt and up his stomach.

Again Reno had to stop a groan, "Not professional." That was all he could manage to say as Rufus ran a thumb over one of his nipples and pulled a small gasp from his throat.

Rufus chuckled, "You don't give a damn about professional Reno. Everyone knows that. What's the real reason?"

Reno yelped as Rufus pinched his nipple and gave it a slight twist. He rushed out an answer, "I made a bet."

Rufus hovered his mouth just above Reno's lips and looked him straight in the eye as he continued playing with his nipple, enjoying the small gasps Reno was filling the car with. "A bet?"

Reno nodded slightly, his voice catching with every pass of Rufus' thumb over his nipple, "W-with Rude. N-no sex for a m-month and I've still got th-three weeks ta go."

Rufus snatched those lips back with his own as the car started and stopped yet again. He supposed traffic must be worse than he had originally thought. He hoped so at least, he was having fun with his new toy.

Reno moaned as Rufus' skilled tongue went to work inside his mouth. If his brain was reeling this bad from just a few simple touches he wasn't going to be able to keep Rufus out of his pants for long. He wasn't sure he wanted to either.

Rufus released Reno's mouth and started kissing his neck as he unzipped the red-heads pants. The fact that Reno was trying not to give in made this exciting for him.

Reno whimpered softly, "I'm serious I can't do this."

Rufus smirked at him as he pulled his pants down. "What you can't do doesn't affect what I can do at all now does it?" Rufus ran a hand along Reno's stiff cock. The fact that the red-head went commando didn't surprise him much, it excited him actually. He gently licked the head as he ran a finger down the vein bulging along the side of the shaft. He could see Reno's fingernails digging into the soft leather of the seats as he kissed his way down the member and gave his balls a tongue-bath. Reno had been close to cumming before Rufus ever touched it and he could tell that Reno was exerting all the self-control he possessed to keep from doing so. He licked his way back to the head and gently pulled it into his mouth. Reno let out a whimper and as Rufus looked up he could see that the Turk was biting his lower lip hard to keep from crying out and it was beginning to bleed. He was now more determined than ever to make Reno cum as hard as he could. He couldn't get off, it would get his suit dirty, but he would have plenty of good images to play through his mind as he got off later. If he performed well enough in the car he might be able to convince Reno to pay him a not so professional visit in his office once they got back.

Reno was doing his best to keep his thoughts in order as Rufus began bobbing his head up and down on his cock. He probably should have known better than to try and tell Rufus no. It seemed to only make the blonde more insistent about getting what he wanted and apparently what he wanted was Reno's cock down his throat. Reno didn't want to give Rufus the satisfaction of hearing just how good he was making him feel but it was getting harder and harder to keep himself from crying out in pleasure. Rufus knew what he was doing when it came to sex of any kind. Reno speculated the Rufus was probably more skilled than some of Corneo's Honeybee's but this thought was cut short by Rufus' hand gently and rhythmically rubbing his balls. Reno started panting as Rufus went faster, his brain screaming in torment as he worked to keep his noises trapped in his throat, _gods above he's good at this!_ He stuck the side of his hand between his teeth and bit down to hold back a moan as Rufus took him a little deeper.

After what seemed an eternity Reno finally came hard into Rufus' mouth. Rufus drank it in almost greedily as he pulled back to fasten his lips around Reno's head. Reno's cum had a creamy, sweet taste and Rufus couldn't help but feel satisfied with himself for making the Turk release it.

Reno was sweating and had bitten his hand hard enough to draw blood. When he finally stopped cumming he felt Rufus sit in his lap again and start kissing him gently and seductively on any and every bit of exposed skin. He knew Rufus wanted more than just a blow-job in return.

Suddenly the privacy panel cracked open slightly. "We should be there in about fifteen minutes President Shinra." Reno silently praised his good fortune. He didn't think he would be able to handle anymore attention from Rufus.

"Playtime's over." Rufus whispered as he re-buttoned Reno's shirt. He silently cursed the traffic for not lasting hours longer. He had been looking forward to thoroughly fucking Reno but it would have to wait.

When they finally did arrive at the small dingy bar Rufus had picked out for his underhanded attempts at gaining power Reno was fully clothed and also fully grateful that on the way back Rude would be in the car with them.

**

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Author's Note: Wow, this was my first ever lemon scene and I didn't realize it at all when I wrote it! Makes me wonder why writing that end scene was so hard at the time.....**


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: This chapter is VIOLENT!!! As in blood and gore and torture and stuff. If that kind of thing bothers you you shouldn't read but just so you know what's said in this chapter (which is the longest one so far) is MUY IMPORTANTE to the rest of the story. Oh, sorry for not warning about the yaoi in the last chapter but ya know, I did say there was gonna be some in the little preview under the title. Sorry for any typos in this chapter BTW-I have the feeling I missed some, but do your best to overlook them.

Rude was bored. He had been waiting for Reno and the President to arrive at the small dingy bar where the events of the day were to take place for almost fifteen minutes. He stood on the top step with his arms crossed and his expression devoid of emotion. In truth he was a little worried that they were so late but he speculated that they had just taken a more discreet route to keep Rufus out of harms way. Rude's own ride had been uneventful, the President's body double had been a man named Gus who was fond of his own voice which had irked Rude to no end. He was used to people that talked constantly, he hung around Reno so he had better be used to constant noise, but for some reason Gus had simply gotten on Rude's nerves. The man had talked of nothing but his life as a body double and how hard it was to have people think you were the President and it plain pissed Rude off.

He sighed and straightened his sunglasses, the first move he had made since taking up his post on the step. He needed to calm down. Of course, he didn't look angry or frustrated on the outside but internally he was boiling. He just knew that Rufus was going to try something with Reno today. He could see the way Rufus looked at him when they were guarding him and he knew that even though Rufus hadn't tried anything yet he would eventually. For some reason the idea of Rufus putting his hands, or any other part of him, on Reno made Rude want to rip his over-privileged head off.

He straightened as he saw the shining black car drive down the alley to the bars entrance. He knew intuitively that something had happened the second Rufus stepped out of the car. He gritted his teeth, Reno looked less than happy and Rufus was wearing that smug smile of his. He stood to the side and allowed Rufus to pass him and enter the bar. He gave Reno a pointed look but Reno just shrugged and shook his head. Rude knew he would get the story from Reno eventually but now was not the time.

They took up their positions behind Rufus as he sat across the table from a balding man who Rude had thought looked like a successful business man until Rufus sat near him. Suddenly the man looked like a nervous child about to do a bad thing. Rufus motioned to the waiter and ordered a drink. Rude felt sorry for the man as Rufus began the conversation by pointedly telling the man to stop blubbering. Personally Rude thought the man was doing rather well as far as keeping his composure was concerned. He had seen more powerful men reduced to sniveling blobs by Rufus' presence.

Reno was on the other side of Rufus and was just barely within the four foot range Tseng had limited them too. This concerned Rude more. Reno was standing with his hands clasped behind his back and was looking absolutely everywhere but at Rude or Rufus. Normally Reno was standing with his hands in his pockets and a sullen expression during these sort of meetings and the fact that he wasn't made Rude one-hundred percent sure that nothing good had happened during Reno's ride with Rufus.

Reno was blocking out Rufus' voice and couldn't even bring himself to look at Rude. He was more ashamed than he had ever been in his life. He should have thrown Rufus off him, told him he wasn't into that shit. He could think of millions of things he should have done to stop it but it was too late for him to do them now. He was so angry now that he couldn't help but clench his hands behind him, he imagined he was strangling Rufus with them. It made him feel a little better to think that, but only a little. The sight of the man across from Rufus made him even more upset, the guy was obviously not keen to go into business with a company like Shinra but he also could tell that the man knew that once Shinra asked for something you had to give it willingly or you would have it taken by force. The man had been robbed of his dignity in Reno's eyes and the thought of what Rufus was able to take from people made him burn with anger. He knew if he had to deal with Rufus everyday like Tseng did he would either kill himself or Rufus, probably Rufus.

Suddenly the man stood up and in his hand was a gun, he started screaming things Reno couldn't bother to listen too while Rude grabbed the President and forced him out the door of the bar while Reno launched himself at the would-be assassin. The man fired as they fell to the floor and Reno hit him over the head with his EMR before wresting the gun from his grasp, shooting the man with it and throwing it across the bar. Suddenly five more armed men stood up from the bar and surrounding tables and Reno knew this had been planned out but he didn't think it had been thought out. He was capable of killing these men himself and if Rude were here it would be no contest as to which side would win. Reno dodged the bullets with relative ease but caught one with his EMR. The weapon started to spark crazily and Reno swore. He was used to getting shocked by his own weapon but it still hurt like crazy when it happened. A man rushed him screaming and Reno shoved his EMR into the man's open mouth and kicked the man in the groin before bolting from the room. He could hear the man choking and thrashing on the ground in pain from the shocks. He ran into the nearest room, which just happened to be a smelly bathroom, and slammed the door shut behind him, flicking the lock. He looked around for a weapon as the men slammed themselves into the door. One started to fire on the door and Reno ducked as a bullet went through the peep hole.

He heard the men's muffled voices on the other side, "Don't shoot what you can't see you stupid bastard! Boss wants him alive!" Reno thought 'stupid bastard' was a bit of an understatement. Whoever the hell their boss was he must be retarded to think six people could outmatch a Turk.

Reno began searching the room for a weapon as he heard the men scream for something to pick the lock with. He yanked the curtain rod out of its position over the window and removed the decorative round end before sliding the curtains off. He then unscrewed one of the burnt-out light bulbs from above the sink. He fit the end of the bulb into the hollow rod and then smashed it against the counter, shattering the bulb and creating a sharp jagged end. He smiled to himself and picked up the soap dish from the sinks edge and weighed it in his hand. He then winced as he felt his right shoulder throb painfully. He was bleeding heavily but he didn't remember being shot at all. He rolled the shoulder in question and winced slightly at the pain. It wasn't too bad and he could tolerate it. He realized that it should probably hurt a hell of a lot more than it did and he was thankful that it didn't.

Reno turned to face the door as he heard something scrape in the lock. He was debating opening the door and stabbing the bastard picking it with his makeshift spear when he heard a voice call his name.

"Reno!" Rude was back. That meant Rufus was either somewhere safe or dead and Reno didn't know which one was preferable. One half of him wanted him safe so he could live to sign Reno's paycheck at the end of the week but the other half wanted him to die a slow painful death.

"In here buddy!" Reno almost laughed, those bastards outside were in for one hell of a shock.

Rude followed Reno's voice and found himself face to face with three gunmen. He quickly ducked behind an overturned table and pulled his own gun as the men began to open fire on him. He slid his gun around the bottom edge of the table, silently thanking the bar owner for choosing to use ugly studded metal tables, and shot hoping that he would hit one in the foot. After a few shots he hit his mark and one man screamed and fell over with a satisfying thud. Rude shot again and heard the man continue to scream. He emptied his gun on the floored man and then reloaded and moved to the other side of the table to try and shoot down one of the others.

Reno waited until he heard one of the men outside start to scream in pain before unlocking the door and jerking it open. The man had been on his knees but had fallen backwards when Reno ripped the door out from in front of him.

"Hello, I believe you wanted to see me?" Reno snickered and shoved the broken light bulb spear into the mans eye. The man screamed in pain and Reno pulled the rod out, the light bulb was caught in the mans eye socket, and he stabbed the man in the other eye, hoping he would hit his brain and kill him quickly. He hated letting people die slowly, it just wasn't his style. The second stab killed the man and Reno stepped over his body, pulling the rod out as he went. He came up behind the two gunmen and hit the first one over the head with the soap dish. The second one was faster than the first and was able to shoot at Reno, but he wasn't fast enough to dodge the metal pole that hit his eye. Reno pushed the man over and leaned against the wall in pain. He had been hit in the hip and he was glad the man hadn't aimed better because the bullet was only a few inches from Reno's groin.

"You can stop shooting now Rude. By the way you're aim is fucking terrible man, you're hitting the wall." Reno grabbed the man he had hit with the soap dish and pulled the gun out of his hand before propping him against the table Rude was now emerging from. Reno took the gun and shot the man he had just stabbed in the head, hoping it would finish him off. He then shot the EMR that was still sparking in the now dead mans mouth, he couldn't stand to watch his weapon shock the corpse and make it jerk uncontrollably, it made him sick. He then limped around making sure all the men but the one he had against the table were dead before throwing the gun across the room and pulling up a chair across from the man.

He collapsed into the chair and groaned in pain. Gods being shot hurt like hell. He hadn't felt either bullet hit him but he definitely felt them now. Rude stood next to him and grunted. "How much of that blood is yours?"

Reno laughed. "This time most of it's mine."

Rude shook his head and opened Reno's shirt to see the wound in his shoulder. The bullet hadn't gone in far and Rude could see the end of it after he dabbed away some of the blood with Reno's shirt. He pulled a potion out of his pocket and poured some over the hole. The potion wouldn't fix it but it would hopefully staunch the bleeding enough that Rude could get the red-head some help. Reno leaned his head back and bit his lip. Potions stung like hell on open wounds.

Rude straightened, "You're going to have to get the one on your hip 'cause I'm not going to put my hands down there."

Reno laughed and took the potion, "Oh come on Rude ya know ya wanna!"

Rude rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the man against the table. He was starting to regain consciousness and Rude hoped that the interrogation they were about to preform wouldn't be a waste of time.

Reno finished applying the potion to his hip and tossed the bottle back to Rude. He then took his good leg and started to nudge the man with his foot. Slowly but surely the man came to enough to lift his head to face Reno. Coated in blood and wearing a look of extreme distaste for what he was doing Reno reached down and grabbed the man by his hair and forced him to focus on his face.

"Good morning sunshine. We're gonna have a nice little chat alright? Sound good to you?" When the man didn't respond Reno thought he might have hit him too hard and that the man might be completely useless as far as brain power went. Then again, Reno didn't think the man had a lot of brain power anyways because, well, smart people just didn't try to kill someone flanked by Turks.

When the man did speak his voice was thick and slow, almost as if he was drunk. "I'm not telling you anything bastard."

Reno sighed. He hated it when people wouldn't cooperate. "Ya know there are two ways we can do this right? The easy quick way with only a little pain on your part, or the hard way where you get to experience the sensation of every bone in your body breaking. Personally I think there isn't much of a choice here."

"Fuck you Turk." Reno sighed. There was no help for it, they were going to have to resort to torture.

"Rude, do you mind helping me crack this nut?" Reno released the mans head and sat back in the chair as Rude moved towards the man.

Rude didn't like having to beat information out of people but unfortunately it was necessary and he was good at it. He slammed his fist into the mans chest and heard several ribs crack and the man cried out in pain. He then stood up and moved behind Reno.

"Thanks." Reno took a hold of the mans hair again. "Are we going to cooperate a little more now?" The man winced before shaking his head. "You realize the unnecessary pain you're going to put yourself through before dying today right?" Reno grabbed the mans hand and bent his index finger back until it snapped.

The man screamed. Reno knew from personal experience that fingers and toes were the easiest things to break and hurt the worst. "How about now? Wanna tell me why you fuckers tried to kill the President today?" The man whimpered and shook his head again. Reno sighed and snapped the mans pinky. The man cried out again. "Ya know," Reno said cupping the mans hand between his own and squeezing the broken fingers against the others, evoking a small sob from the man, "You've got eight more fingers and ten more toes and a hell of a lot of other shit I can break. I don't enjoy doing this and I'm pretty sure this is no fun for you either, unless you're masochistic and into this shit, but given the fact that you're crying instead of moaning I'll take it that's not the case." Reno swayed a little. He was still loosing blood and was starting to feel pretty woozy. "Just tell me why you tried to kill the President, well I know why you fuckers want him dead, hell everyone has wanted to kill him at one point or another but I need to hear it so I can fill out a report later."

The man cleared his throat and let out a choked sob. "They said if we told they'd kill us."

Reno grabbed the mans chin and tilted his face up. The man looked like he was just out of his twenties. Reno realized what a waste of a life this man must've led if he was willing to die already. "I'm going to kill you. 'They' won't get a chance too and I can be a hell of a lot meaner than they can. The only choice you have to make here is how long you suffer. It's either quick, a bullet in the head courtesy of Rude here, or it's long and painful and horribly drawn out. We can do this all day if you want but no one is going to save you. You are going to die."

The man sobbed again, tears falling down his cheeks. Reno didn't want to kill the man but he had no choice. When someone tries to kill Rufus Shinra the penalty is death; no exceptions. "We weren't trying to kill him, we were trying to kill you guys. Sure we'd take out Shinra if we could but what's the point? We know no one likes him inside the company and he's only in charge 'cause everyone's scared of him so we'd be doing you jack offs a favor if we plugged him. Besides someone just like him would come out of the woodwork and do the exact same shit. We figured if we could take out the people under and around him that hold up that little pedestal he's on the company will die. He can't do shit without his lackeys."

Reno sat back and nearly fell out of his chair he was so off balance. A steadying hand from Rude kept him upright so he could reply, "The only problem with your plan is the fact that we Turks are hard as hell to kill and they can replace the ones that die in the blink of an eye. There are a ton of highly trained people just itching to take our place so killing us would do you no good either. Besides, why did that one bastard say he wanted me alive if you guys were gonna kill me?"

The man looked up, "We were gonna do the same thing you're doing to me except we were gonna make your death public. You were gonna be an example. We figured since you're near the top of the Turks you have to know something."

Reno laughed and again swayed dangerously before Rude caught him. He really had to wrap this up and get to a hospital. "You guys were gonna try to use me for info? Hehehe I probably know less about what goes on than everyone else. I barely do any of the paperwork and I don't know any security codes or any of that shit. Ha! You guys really are clueless if you thought I would have information you didn't. Either you're clueless, or you have even less info than I thought."

Rude cleared his throat. "Is that all Reno? I do believe we promised him a quick and fairly painless death when he decided to cooperate." Rude was pissed at the man before them. He had come here, not to kill Rufus, but to try and get Reno. He wanted nothing more than to make the man pay for even wanting to hurt Reno. He breathed deep and put a check on his emotions. He needed to keep himself calm until he could get Reno somewhere safe.

Reno nodded and started to tip forward. "Yeah, we're done. Too bad you couldn't be smarter kid." And with that Rude pulled his gun out of his pocket and shot the man in the temple. The man slumped forward and lay still. Reno was close to doing the same thing as Rude hefted him out of the chair and helped him limp out of the bar. He set Reno down near the entrance and pulled something out of his pocket.

Reno looked up, "Blowing the place up Rude?"

Rude nodded. "Rufus' orders."

Reno nodded, "Orders." His eyes flickered in and out of focus. "Say, is Rufus safe? You got him out right?"

Rude nodded as he set the bomb on the floor and entered a time. "I sent him and the car to Shinra and told him to send the car back to get us. Hopefully he listened to me."

Reno laughed, "You ordered Shinra?"

Rude picked him up again and half dragged him down the steps. "Damn straight I did. Bastard wasn't going to let me come get you."

"How the hell did you manage to get him to say yes to that? I figured after the attack he'd want you with him all the way to Shinra." Reno was barely even moving his legs to support his weight anymore.

"We had a slight....altercation." Rude opened the door to the waiting car, thanking the gods that Rufus had done what he said.

Reno laughed as Rude set him in the seat. "You'll have to tell me about that one."

"Maybe later." Rude signaled for the driver to take them back as Reno slumped against the seats and blacked out completely.


	7. Chapter 7

When Reno finally came around in the hospital it was all they could do to keep him in his bed. Rude knew how much Reno hated hospitals and it was always entertaining watching the red-head try to escape. It had gotten so bad that now it was required that someone be in his room at all times so he wouldn't try to jump out the window. Rude remembered that time. Reno had tied his sheets together to make a parachute and had been standing on the windowsill when Rude had walked in and forced him back into his bed. The memory made Rude grin, Reno had been so drugged up he didn't even remember the incident but that didn't keep Rude from teasing him about it.

This visit though Reno had to stay in his bed so he didn't mess up the work they'd done on his hip. The bullet had shattered the bone and even though the doctors had been able to fix it with materia it was still going to be fragile for a while. Rude chuckled to himself, the word fragile wasn't something he would use on Reno often but now Reno truly was fragile. Both wounds had been fixed easily but even though materia could fix bones and muscle it couldn't take away pain and even though the pain wouldn't last more than a week it was still pain. Reno wouldn't be doing anything for a while which would probably drive him crazy. Rude sat in the chair beside Reno's bed as the disobedient red-head tried to sit up yet again while the doctor tried to keep him down. This had been going on for about fifteen minutes now and Rude could tell the doctor was no longer the patience filled man he had been just a short time ago. Reno could send most everyone to the breaking point of their patience and tolerance, except Rude of course.

"Reno so help me god if you don't stay in this bed until I tell you you can leave I will tie you down!" The doctor's hands were clenched by his sides and his features were crossed with anger.

Reno sulked, "But I feel fine! I'm all fixed and all better why can't I get up? It's not like I'm knocking on death's door anymore and believe you me I've visited death several times and he just won't fucking answer that door no matter how long or hard I knock so I'm pretty sure he's had a change of address."

Rude chuckled as the doctor threw his hands in the air, "Just because you aren't dying doesn't mean you're completely well! Your bones are still delicate! Healing with materia takes more time than you think! You're lucky I'm letting you out of here at all today!" The doctor turned on Rude, "Can't you do something to keep this..." the doctor seemed at a loss for just what he wanted to call Reno, "Argh! Can't you just DO something about him? At least keep him occupied until I get his release papers finished and his prescription filled." and with that the doctor stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

"What the hell's his problem?" Reno pushed himself into a sitting position, wincing as he went, and leaned against the headboard.

"You should probably listen to him. He does know what he's doing and he's got the degree's to prove it." Rude was highly amused by Reno's antics although he figured he probably shouldn't encourage them.

"Ya know what Rude his degrees can kiss my ass! I want outta this fucking bed. I've been here all day it's driving me nuts!" Rude didn't have the heart to remind Reno that he had only been awake for two hours.

"You've actually been here a day and a half Reno. You were here overnight." Rude cracked his knuckles stretched lazily.

"Really? Damn. When did he say I get to go home?" Reno rubbed his hip, it was throbbing dully but steadily.

"You get to go home at about seven Reno. Stephanie and Elena are probably going to drop by the apartment later to see how you're holding up." Rude was dead tired. He had stayed the night at the hospital waiting for news on how Reno was doing. Reno had been hurt worse than this many times but it still worried Rude when his friend, as the red-head so lovingly called it, 'paid death another visit.'

Reno pouted, "How come they can't come see me now?"

"Because they have work today Reno, just like I'm supposed to be at work." Rude chuckled.

"Then how come you aren't at work?" Reno asked putting his good arm behind his head and leaning back. Sitting still was driving him absolutely crazy.

"Because I'm special." Rude chuckled.

"Special my ass, Tseng just likes you best." Reno stuck out his lower lip and pretended to sulk.

Rude chuckled. "Well, Reno, your ass is pretty special. You pull some of the craziest ideas out of it."

Reno laughed, "Smart ass. Ha! I made a funny! Your ass is smart and mines special! Oh I kill me."

Rude shook his head. "Only if someone else doesn't finish you off first."

"Speaking of people trying to kill me have you told Tseng what happened yet?" Reno laid back down as he heard footsteps in the hall, he didn't want the doctor to find him sitting up.

"No. I told him that I'd give him the details after you woke up. I figured we should get together and put our story together so they match up."

"Hmmmm....I don't care what parts you tell him but, maybe we should keep the fact that they specifically wanted to nab me to ourselves yes? I don't want Tseng freaking out and keeping me off missions because he thinks the baddies want my nuts on a platter." Reno started to pluck fuzz off the scratchy hospital blanket.

"Got it." Rude paused, "Reno, quick question."

"Ask away partner." Reno already had an idea of what Rude was going to ask.

"Your ride to the bar with Rufus....." Rude didn't continue.

"Yeah, I figured you'd pick up something on that." Reno cleared his throat. "We got stuck in traffic and we started talking a little and next thing I knew the bastard was straddling me and putting his hands anywhere he could reach. I told him no, I really did, but there's one thing about telling Rufus Shinra no, it generally makes shit worse for you."

Rude curled his hands into fists in his lap. His conversation with Rufus had told him as much but hearing it from Reno made it worse. "I think I might kill him."

"We'd be out of a job then partner. Personally though, I'd rather someone just cut his balls off or something simple like that. He may be a self-righteous, stupid, lecherous, greedy, arrogant asshole with more money and power than any one person should ever have but unfortunately we need him around to sign our paychecks. It's a love hate relationship. We love the fact that he gives us money and hate pretty much everything else about him. Not much we can do about it though, that kid in the bar was right, all we are are his lackeys." Reno sighed, somewhat confused by Rude's desire to kill Rufus for him but not terribly surprised. He was used to Rude wanting to protect him. His actions in the bar reinforced that idea.

"Still....that was no better than rape." Rude stared angrily at his hands, too bad Reno was right about their need for a living breathing Rufus.

"No, it wasn't." Reno agreed apathetically. "Hey does this count against me on the bet?"

Rude let out a short bark of a laugh, "No, I told you no sex, whores or porn. Nothing about Rufus jumping all over you."

"Alright then Rude, thanks for that. I really didn't want to fork over five hundred gil over that. Now it's my turn for a question. How the hell did you get the bastard to let you help me?"

"It was actually pretty easy really. I got him out to the car and then started back for you when he started yelling at me. Told me you could take care of yourself, but since I have evidence against that statement I told him to shut the fuck up and get in the car. He didn't like that and told me that if I didn't go back to Shinra with him he'd have me fired. I pinned him against the car by his throat and convinced him to think otherwise, told him to go back to Shinra without me and send the car back before he reported to Tseng, then went in and helped you. Of course I'm pretty sure you would have figured out how to kill them all without me, but I'm pretty sure walking away wasn't an option for you." Rude didn't think he should share all the details of his fight with Rufus just yet. He himself was still surprised at how bold he had been in telling the President what to do.

"You freakin' rock Rude! That's pretty bad-ass man, I just hope he doesn't go back to his original idea of firing you. How did you convince him to 'think otherwise' anyways? I mean the pinning him to the car bit probably helped but I didn't think Rufus would scare that easily. Of course, you can be scary as shit when you want to be."

"I just held him against the car and threatened him." He wasn't going to tell Reno any more than that.

"Huh, so it's that simple eh? Man, wish I had thought of that when he was straddling me. Course, he probably would have just thought it was kinky." Reno laughed.

Someone knocked on the door, "Reno, get back in your bed and lay down so I don't have to lie to the doctor when I say you were already like that okay?"

Reno laughed at the nurse outside the door. He didn't know her name but he had gotten fairly familiar with her through all his hospital visits. "Don't worry I'm being good."

The woman entered and began prepping Reno's arm for an injection. "Only because Rude's here. Honestly the man never leaves when you're in here."

"Gotta have someone to do my time with babe." She laughed and gave Rude a pointed look.

"You'll be helping keep track of his meds correct?" She plunged the needle into Reno's arm. Rude grunted what was assumed to be a yes.

Reno swore. "Easy lady thats an arm not a pin cushion!"

"Shut up you big pansy I barely touched you. He needs to take two of these every morning and one before bed." She pulled a bottle out of her pocket and handed it to Rude.

Reno reached his good arm over and poked the bulge in her pocket, "What the hell? How much do you keep in there? Got any good drugs? Just so you know I'm not a coke addict, I just like how it smells."

She laughed and batted his hand away. "Yeah, we know better than to let you handle your pills Reno. I still remember the sling shot you made to shoot people with them the last time you were here. By the way Rude, what I just gave him is some pretty strong stuff the doctor wanted him to have so he wouldn't be so wound up. He should pretty much be jelly by the time you need to take him home."

"What! Why didn't you tell me what you were giving me woman! How much fun am I gonna be all calm and relaxed?" Reno sat upright faster than he probably should have and pain shot from his hip straight to his brain so fast he almost threw up.

"You're going to be much easier for Rude to handle if your not bouncing off the walls. Also, you should probably stop messing with the doctors around here, they like mellowing you out with drugs. Anyways, Rude he doesn't have to take any tonight after what I gave him but tomorrow morning he's going to need his first two. The doctor said after I finished giving him this he could check out and go home." Reno was starting to feel the affects of the drug seeping into his brain and it freaked him out.

"Alright. Where's his clothes and shoes?" Rude didn't think that Reno would appreciate being carried out in a hospital gown even if he was drugged to all hell.

"Oh, right." She went to the nightstand beside the bed and pulled out a bag. "Tseng came by last night while you were both asleep and brought you some new threads Reno."

Reno giggled, "Threads, I get it! It's 'cause they're made of thread!"

Rude shook his head and took the bag from the nurse with a grateful grunt. Reno was definitely relaxed.

The nurse left and Rude helped Reno get up and exchange the hospital gown for the suit. Reno was giggling like a drunk teen for the most part but every now and again he let out a small pained whimper. After Reno was dressed Rude half dragged him out of the Shinra hospital and into his car.

When they reached the apartment Reno was still giggling and happy but Rude was agitated. Reno had been trying to get out of the car while the vehicle was in motion all the way home and he'd tried to grab the steering wheel from Rude about ten times. Rude dumped in him gently but unceremoniously onto the couch before heading to his room to change.

Reno was feeling pretty good, excellent really. Every now and again his hip or shoulder would throb and bring him back to reality for a moment, but those were only moments of clarity mixed with the drug fogged state he was in. He stood up and tottered to his room in Rude's apartment. It didn't have a bed or anything, but it had all his stuff in it so it was just as good as his room. He started moving boxes and stuff around trying to find what he was searching for when finally it's yellow and green splendor caught his eye. He grabbed the water-gun and tottered off to the bathroom to fill up the small weapon.

Rude re-entered the living room expecting to find Reno giggling on the couch, but instead the only sign of Reno he found was a shoe the Turk had discarded on the way to the bathroom. Rude was almost afraid that Reno would accidentally drown in the toilet but as he peered through the open door he was the one who got wet. Reno had found a water-gun somewhere and was now trying to shoot Rude and was even making sound effects.

"Pew pew!!!!" he started giggling as he shot at Rude again and again. Only a few of the shots actually hit Rude but Reno didn't care. The look on Rude's face was funny enough that it didn't matter that he had soaked himself more trying to fill the gun than he had soaked Rude actually using it.

Rude sighed as he dodged Reno's feeble attempts to attack him. He pulled the gun from Reno's hands and Reno let out a disappointed whine. "You're no fun Rudey-tudey-oodey." Rude set the gun on the sink, picked Reno up and took him back to the living room, Reno giggling like mad the whole way. Rude set him down on the couch and went to the kitchen to make sure all the knives and other sharp objects were put away so Reno couldn't get up and hurt himself in the night. Suddenly he heard Reno stumble into the kitchen.

"Not so wound up my ass. you're worse than ever, even when you're drunk off your ass you aren't this bad Reno." He turned just in time to have Reno fall in front of him. Rude picked up Reno while the red-head whimpered with unexpected pain.

"Why can't I stand up straight Rude?" He clutched the front of Rude's shirt and tried to put his legs under him. He was failing miserably.

Rude picked him up and set him back on the couch. "Stay."

"But I don't wanna!" Reno whined as he tried to stand up again.

Rude pushed him down, "If you don't sit down I'll sit down on you alright?"

Reno giggled and patted his lap, "Go right ahead lovely."

Rude rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen.

"You know I'm just getting right back up right?" Reno yelled over his shoulder.

"I'm fully aware of that fact." Rude finished hiding the sharp objects in the kitchen along with the booze. Reno probably wouldn't remember that drugs and alcohol don't mix so it was best to take precautions.

The doorbell rang and Reno tried to get off the couch to answer it. Rude pushed him back onto the couch as he passed him before opening the door.

"Hey Rude! How's he doing?" Stephanie held a tray of cookies in her hand and Elena stood sheepishly in the hall behind her.

"I feel GREAT!!!!!" Reno pumped his fists into the air to accentuate the last word.

Rude let Stephanie and Elena into the apartment and shut the door.

"Gods above Reno what the hell did they give you?" Elena stood in front of Reno, arms akimbo.

"Goooooood stuff!" Reno giggled and sat up.

Elena sighed and turned to Rude crossing her arms across her chest. "Rude is he drunk or something?"

Rude shook his head, "Or something."

Reno grabbed Elena's arm and pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her pinning her arms to her sides. She shrieked and he giggled. "Reno you bastard let go! Holy Hell did you wet yourself? Why is your lap wet!?"

"Water-gun." Rude was having a hard time not laughing at Elena. Even drugged and loopy Reno was able to hold her down without much effort.

"Aww Laney what's the matter don't you loooove me?" Reno whined as Elena struggled.

Stephanie sighed, "Elena he's drugged and slightly crippled right now okay? Don't hit him too hard." Elena had freed one of her arms and was reeling it back to hit Reno.

"But he's-" Elena stopped short as Reno gasped and shoved her off, grabbing his hip in pain.

"Fuck." Reno whimpered.

Rude leaned over the couch and grasped Reno's shoulder. "You okay?"

Reno nodded and laid back on the couch as the pain began to subside. "Sorry Laney, sounded like a good idea at the time."

Elena cocked an eyebrow from her position on the floor, "Why the hell was grabbing me a good idea?"

Reno giggled, "Cause I wanted to see what you would do."

Elena shook her head and stood up. "I don't understand you Reno."

Reno giggled and stretched out across the couch, rubbing his hip to soothe the sore area, "Understanding is not required Laney-poo."

Stephanie shook her head and followed Rude into the kitchen, Elena trailing behind.

Authors Note: Heeheehee, I have to say I loved writing the second half of this chapter. So much fun. If you want to leave a review, feel free to do so. I won't mind and I'll probably take the time to respond to your comment, even if its a flame.


	8. Chapter 8

"So how long is he supposed to be like this?" Stephanie asked as she set the cookies she had brought on the counter.

Rude just shrugged and grabbed a few cans of pop from the fridge and threw one to each of his fellow Turks as Reno continued to giggle in the living room.

Elena snorted, "I hope he gets over this little mood he's in soon 'cause that laugh is starting to creep me out."

Stephanie cracked open her pop can, "I don't want him to stop giggling because then he might start whimpering in pain again. Plus, him being all drugged up is kinda fun to watch."

"Hmph." Elena leaned against the countertop, "You only think that because he hasn't tried to grope you."

"Yet." Rude sat down at the table.

Stephanie laughed, "I'm not stupid enough to get close enough for him to do anything."

Elena pouted and Rude laughed. "I didn't think he'd do anything to me! He's usually really good about keeping his hands to himself."

"Yeah but right now he's drugged up on gods know what. His self control is fragile at best when he's sober and sane so how did you think he'd act all doped up?" Stephanie sat down beside Rude and her eyes skimmed the kitchen.

"It's not my fault he's a perv!" Elena pouts.

"I can hear you Laney-poo!" Reno shouts and giggles in the living room.

"Rude, why do you have all your pots and pans inside your oven?" Stephanie asks before going over to inspect the objects in question.

"Because we needed room in the cupboards for other stuff. Neither of us can cook for shit so it works out." Rude shifts in his seat.

"Then what do you eat?" Stephanie walks over to Elena and ruffles her hair, "Stop pouting Lena you're making me feel bad."

"I'm not pouting." Elena continues looking at the floor angrily.

"We eat anything that can be microwaved or eaten cold." Rude says watching Elena and Stephanie carefully thinking that just maybe they were, well, he didn't know what.

"We also have the number for the pizza place and the Wutai restaurant memorized!" Reno wasn't giggling as much anymore.

Rude got up and looked into the living room where Reno was sprawled across the couch. He looked like he was starting to fall asleep and Rude hoped the medicine was wearing off so Reno would behave better.

"Stop starin' Rude it's rude!" Reno giggled again. "Rude's rude! I made a funny again!"

Rude rolled his eyes and walked back into the kitchen where Stephanie had resumed her inspection of the kitchen as Elena continued glaring at his floor.

"You worried we aren't eating right or something? I make sure we get vegetables and fruit every once in a while." Rude says as he leans against the counter beside Elena.

"I'm worried about how Reno's going to fend for himself while you're gone all day. I'm not sure he's smart enough to use the microwave." Stephanie laughs and stops rifling through Rude's cupboards as she senses his displeasure.

Rude grunts. "Reno can manage. There is a pizza place about three blocks away and he knows how to use the phone."

"That'll work. Did he get any pain killers?" Stephanie grabs one of the cookies she brought over.

Rude follows suit and bites into a cookie. "Yeah. I'm keeping them with me though so he won't throw them out or do something equally stupid with them."

Elena laughs, "I still remember what he did with the last pills you let him take by himself."

Rude chuckles, "There's reasons that was the last time. The birds he fed them too probably died."

Stephanie looks at her watch and clears her throat, "Lena and I should probably get going Rude. We've got patrol at five in the morning tomorrow. It's gonna suck."

"I hate patrol." Elena sets down her untouched can of soda and walks into the living room.

"So do I. It makes me wish we could work like you and Reno." She glanced up at Rude as she finished her cookie. "How do you guys do it? I mean how can you tell what Reno's going to do?"

Rude shrugged. "We just can. I don't know how, it's probably because we know each other so well. That and experience."

"I wish I could read her mind." Stephanie gazed wistfully in Elena's direction before moving into the living room herself.

Rude showed them out and turned to the now sleeping Reno. He didn't know just how he was able to figure out what Reno wanted all the time, it was almost like Reno was another section of Rude's own brain. A second, more outgoing and obnoxious, personality that fixed itself into Rude's brain like a piece that was missing when he was put together. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over Reno before shutting off the lights and going to bed. He figured it was best not to question the relationship he and Reno had.

Reno woke up before Rude for the first time in almost three years. He hurt like hell and the throbbing, pounding sensations in his shoulder, hip and head were enough to make him sick to his stomach. He groaned as he sat up and held his head in his hands, trying to steady his swimming vision.

"Fuck." Reno said as he walked as best he could to Rude's bedroom hoping that he could do something. "Rude." He said feebly as he slouched against the doorframe. "Rude wake up yo, I'm gonna blow chunks any second."

Rude groaned and sat up. Reno got his head together enough to notice that Rude had slept shirtless even though it was fairly cold in the apartment. He also noticed that Rude was sweaty. "What the hell man? How the heck are you sweaty? It's freakin' freezin'!"

Rude laughed as he stood up and grabbed Reno's pill bottle from his nightstand. "You only think it's cold because you're as thin as a toothpick. If you had any meat on you you'd be fine."

Reno stuck his tongue out at Rude and held out a hand for the bottle.

"You honestly think I'm going to trust you with meds? Gods you must be out of it." Rude chuckled and lead the way to the kitchen, Reno limping slowly behind.

"Oh shut up Rude. I feed one bottle of pills to pigeons and everybody freaks out. I still think it was fuckin' funny alright?" Reno sat down gingerly at the table as Rude fixed him a glass of water and handed him pills. Reno took them from him and groaned, "Rude these are freaking huge! How am I supposed to swallow them? They're like Godzilla pills or something!"

Rude snorted. "Want me to crush them and put them in applesauce?"

Reno grimaced, "That's nasty Rude!"

Rude chuckled and turned to make breakfast, today he decided to make toast for himself and toaster pastries for Reno. He knew Reno wouldn't eat toast, Reno considered it 'grown-up food' and refused to eat it unless Rude made a smiley face on it with butter and Rude didn't feel like doing that today.

Reno held the pills in his palm and stared at them, willing them to get smaller. He sighed, "What kind of applesauce do you have Rude?"

"The kind made from apples." Rude rolled his eyes taking the pills from Reno and grabbing a bowl to crush them in.

"Nothing special? Just regular old applesauce?" Reno pouted, he had hoped for something flavored. He didn't like normal applesauce very much.

Rude sighed, "I can add cinnamon if you want."

Reno brightened, "You're awesome, you know that right Rude?" Rude snorted as he ground the pills into a powder with the end of a spoon and Reno took that as a 'yes'. Reno leaned back and rubbed his shoulder as it gave a particularly painful throb. "Why the hell do I always get shot?"

"Because you haven't learned to duck yet." Rude handed Reno the medicated applesauce and the toaster pastries. "Now eat your medicine like a big boy."

Reno made a face as he took a bite of the applesauce, "It tastes yucky."

Rude sighed and shook his head, "There's no pleasing you is there?"

Reno laughed, "Nope! I'm too picky for my own damned good."

Rude grunted an agreement and headed for the shower.

Authors Note: I'll write more I promise. Sorry it's taken so long for me to get this chapter up, for some reason it was hard to get started. Please R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

After his shower Rude felt much less irritable. Reno had woken him up almost a half hour before he normally got up. He got dressed and went to the kitchen to find Reno still playing with the applesauce. "You're supposed to eat it Reno. It's not going to go away on it's own."

Reno stuck out his lower lip. "I hate medicine." He grimaced and took another bite of his applesauce.

"You aren't supposed to like it Reno. If you did you'd want it all the time." Rude began to eat his now cold toast.

Reno finished his pill-riddled applesauce with another grimace, "They could at least make it taste better ya know? It's pretty damned disgusting."

"If you swallowed it whole like you were supposed to you wouldn't have to taste it at all." Rude made a note not to let his breakfast sit out so long again.

"Yeah but then I'd choke on them. I'd rather taste it then choke on it." Reno winked at Rude, "And yes, that was meant to have sexual innuendos."

Rude rolled his eyes. "Everything you say has innuendos Reno."

"Yup, but I meant for that last one to happen." Reno began scarfing down his toaster pastries with relish.

Rude shook his head before he threw away what was left of his toast and grabbed his keys, "You gonna survive without me?"

"Of course not. You're gonna come home tonight and I'll have vultures peckin my eyes out." Reno got up gingerly and cleaned up his place at the table, something he didn't usually do.

"I'll make sure to visit during lunch okay?" Rude opened the door, "Don't break anything and I've blocked all the porn channels so you can't go back on the bet."

"You don't trust me at all do you Rude?" Reno sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

"Of course not." Rude left with a smile.

Reno spent an hour trying to watch TV but he couldn't find anything that was worth watching without someone around to laugh at his comments. He tried listening to music but got bored with that after a while too. He hadn't realized before how boring everything was without Rude around. He decided to give Rude a call to see if he could annoy him. That was always fun.

The phone rang a few times before Rude answered with a gruff, "I'm working Reno."

"But I'm bored." Reno was already feeling better.

"Entertain yourself." Rude sounded less than amused.

"I already tried that but it's hard to do by yourself." He laughed at the different meanings he knew Rude could pull from that sentence.

He heard Rude sigh heavily, "Watch TV then, read a book, listen to music, prank call someone other than me."

"I already did everything but that last one. Thanks for the idea though, what's your mom's number again?" Reno grabbed the phonebook Rude kept under the stand the phone rested on.

"On second thought why don't you just try and clean up or something?" Reno laughed at Rude's annoyance.

"No can do, you just gave me an awesome idea." Reno hung up as Rude tried to answer.

He spent about an hour calling random people before he used up all the prank call scenarios he could think of, he even used the 'is your fridge running?' one. He was still bored though. He turned the TV on and tried to watch Chocobo Racing but that was only proving more boring than doing nothing.

He laid down and stared at the ceiling until lunchtime rolled around and his stomach growled hungrily. He ordered in a pizza and ate, making sure he saved some for Rude. When he heard a knock on the door he opened it hoping Rude had come by like he said he would but he couldn't help but be disappointed when Stephanie was in front of him instead.

"Where's Rude?" He asked as he let her inside.

"He's getting a briefing from Tseng about a mission he's supposed to do tonight. He's going to be gone for a few days and he wanted me to come by and let you know. I'm leaving for a mission tomorrow though so after tonight Tseng or Elena will be coming by to give you your meds and stuff."

Reno pouted, "Rude can't go on a mission without me!"

"Yes he can, remember when you got your ass kicked by Cloud and his friends? He had to do stuff by himself then and he can do stuff by himself now." Stephanie sat down at the table and rested her head on her hand.

Reno sat beside her gingerly so he didn't start his hip hurting again and ate another piece of pizza. "He's gonna get hurt."

"He'll be fine Reno. He can take care of himself just fine." Stephanie threw a disgusted look at the pizza, "What the hell is on that?"

"Pineapple, pepperoni, mushrooms, anchovies, etcetera. All the stuff me and Rude like." Reno smiled at the grossed out expression on her face.

"Nasty." She laughed, "I can't believe you can eat that Reno."

"Delicious. And I eat by putting the food in my mouth and swallowing. I chew occasionally." He laughed and bit a piece off the pizza as if to demonstrate his eating technique.

She laughed, "Smart ass. Try to eat more than pizza this week alright? Oh, Rude says to tell you to leave his mom alone, not to break anything, to stick to the bet, and he wants you to be nice to Elena and Tseng when they come to visit. Why does he have to warn you away from his mom?"

Reno laughed, "I was going to prank call her earlier but I decided against it."

"Figures. He said he'll try to give you a call before he leaves tonight alright?" Stephanie got up to leave.

"Hey, take him a piece of this for me alright?" Reno grabbed the pizza and put it in a plastic bag, "He'll be angry if I don't share."

Stephanie grimaced and took the pizza. "I can't see why." She went to the door. "Be good and don't break the house. I'll be back later tonight with Elena to give you meds okay?" She gave him a warm smile, "And you can eat those cookies I brought by the way, I didn't poison them." She left and Reno immediately attacked what was left of the pizza and cookies with a smile.

Reno went to his own apartment after he ate. He hadn't been there in a while but he hoped there was something mildly entertaining that he could take back to Rude's place there. When he entered the apartment it looked exactly as he left it, albeit a bit more mold was growing on the dishes in the sink and if there was any food in the fridge it was probably no longer recognizable. He was surprised that no one had complained about the smell yet but he figured people had just decided to ignore it or had gotten used to it. He wasn't ever home to address anyone's complaints so it wasn't a big issue to him. He started making his way through the apartment and almost fell over several times. His apartment wasn't user friendly.

After stumbling around for a while he decided to pick some of his stuff up. This turned into a full scale cleaning that Reno had never preformed before in his life. He picked up all his stuff and threw away anything that he couldn't remember ever having or anything so moldy and filthy that he was unable to name it. It took the greater part of his afternoon and when he was done his apartment was completely unrecognizable. He smiled to himself as he found the dartboard he had been looking for the entire time. He took it back to Rude's apartment, along with a magazine that had done an article on Rufus and so had a centerfold of him. He knew exactly what his first target was going to be.

When Stephanie returned with Elena she found Reno sitting on the couch throwing darts at a picture of Rufus. "Where the hell did you get the dartboard?" She asked setting down the food she had brought with her. She figured that Reno needed to eat more than pizza and it wouldn't hurt her and Elena to eat dinner with him, although Elena disagreed on that point.

"Found it in my apartment." Reno said as he took careful aim and threw. He missed Rufus' head by mere centimeters. "Dammit!"

"You have an apartment?" Elena asked as she sat down in the armchair Rude usually used. "I figured you guys just shared this one, you practically live here anyways so what's the point of having your own apartment?"

"I have it so all my junk mail can go somewhere else. Only the important stuff comes to Rude's place. I actually cleaned the apartment today do you wanna see?" Reno sounded like an excited child ready to show off his work.

"You cleaned something?" Elena asked wide-eyed.

Stephanie laughed. "It's a sign of the apocalypse. Sure Reno, show us your apartment."

Reno stood up faster than should have and in return got a painful stab from his protesting hip. He leaned over, "Fuck! Sorry, gimme a minute." He bent double and held his hip with both hands and tried to block out the pain.

"Time for your meds Reno?" Stephanie pulled the pill bottle out of her pocket and shook it at him.

"Fine whatever." Reno slowly resumed a standing position and followed her into the kitchen where she prepared a glass of water for him to down the pill with. She handed it to him and he looked at the giant pill with distaste. "Cheers." He said as he tipped his head back and threw the pill in his mouth. He quickly downed the glass of water and gagged a little as the pill passed down his throat. "God I hate pills." He handed her the now empty glass and she put it in the sink.

"You aren't supposed to like them Reno." He led the way out of Rude's apartment and into his own.

"Rude said the same thing." He unlocked the door and let the girls pass him.

"Holy hell!" Elena said as she began to roam Reno's apartment, "You did clean it! What the hell kind of meds are they giving you? If they make you clean I think you should take them forever."

Reno stuck his tongue out at her and sat on his couch. Something squeaked from under the cushions and Reno jumped up and ran to hide behind Stephanie. Then he bent double again as his hip started to reprimand him for the sudden motion.

"What the hell was that Reno?" Elena picked up the cushion and screamed as a mouse ran out of the space and under the television stand.

Stephanie was almost bent double with laughter. "It's just a little mouse guys! We should catch him and let him outside, Reno's apartment isn't a good place for anyone to live." Reno stuck his tongue out at her and blew a loud raspberry.

They spent about fifteen minutes trying to catch the little mouse, Stephanie and Elena doing most of the work as every time the mouse came near Reno he jumped and hurt his hip. Once they finally caught it Stephanie took it outside and Elena and Reno went back to Rude's apartment. They spent the rest of the night casually teasing each other about their various reactions to the mouse and when Stephanie and Elena went home Reno felt much better. He decided that since Rude was gone he would sleep in the bed instead of on the couch. As he crawled under the covers he remembered sadly that Rude hadn't called him like Stephanie said he would. He fell asleep with his head buried in Rude's pillow worrying about his friend while he breathed in his reassuring scent.

Rude had been sent to Edge as a Presidential bodyguard. Rufus had last minute decided to make the trip and was disappointed by the fact that it was Rude who would be guarding him. After their last encounter Rufus was less than fond of Rude and wished that Tseng had spared him one of the female Turks or even gone with him himself. He would make the best of it however, he didn't like the man but he could intimidate an entire room into silence much like Rufus could, unless their was a certain red-head in the room.

Rude hated the idea of being alone with the President for any length of time and he wished for nothing more than to be back home making sure Reno wasn't destroying himself or being too bored. He hadn't had a free minute to call Reno and apologize for leaving and it had been almost two days since he left. Any time it seemed like he could do so Rufus found something else to do or complain about and Rude had to follow him like a shadow. He hated it. He hadn't been on a mission without Reno in almost two years and he remembered now why he didn't like to go without him. Everytime his thoughts wandered he found himself worrying about Reno and everytime he looked at Rufus he felt like breaking his smug little neck.

He was in the car with Rufus on the way back to the hotel they would stay at during the trip when Rufus addressed him for the first time.

"How's Reno doing?" Rufus was gazing out the window when he asked and Rude was sure he couldn't see the anger on his face.

"He should be fine. He's still in pain though." Rude curled his hands into fists in his lap. _He's only hurt because of you._

"God I hate having to talk to these imbeciles. I'm getting so sick of politics." Rufus sighed and started playing with the buttons on his shirt. He was bored.

Rude grunted. _If you hate it then why do you keep doing this? Dragging me with and Reno along to catch bullets meant for you. _Rude kept his thoughts to himself. He didn't want to have another fight with the President. He still didn't know how he had escaped punishment from the last time he'd done so.

"You care about Reno don't you?" Rufus turned to face Rude.

"Yes." _He's my partner, my best friend, of course I care about him!_

"I mean you love him don't you?" Rufus smiled his smug little smile.

Rude didn't know how to respond, so he didn't. He loved Reno sure, but he didn't know what kind of love Rufus was talking about. He loved Reno as a friend, but he didn't know if it went further than that.

"I'm not stupid Rude. I can tell you have feelings for him. You risked your job to keep the bastard from dying." Rude stiffened at these words and Rufus was suddenly very entertained.

"Don't call him a bastard." _You're the bastard! _Rude wanted to punch that smile off of Rufus' face.

"I'll call him what I want and you'll deal with it. Are you two lovers then? I don't imagine so if you've got a bet outlawing sex for a month. Reno's just to yummy to pass up." Rufus watched as Rude's generally flawless composure started to fail.

Rude didn't answer again. He wanted to scream at Rufus, to tell him that he better keep his hands to himself when it came to Reno.

"If you two aren't lovers then I might try and nab him." Rufus laughed as Rude struggled to keep his expression neutral.

"Keep your hands off him." Rude didn't look at Rufus when he said it. He could tell Rufus was toying with him and he knew if he looked at him he would hit him. It would simply be an uncontrollable reflex.

"So you are lovers then? It's that or you want him but you haven't got balls enough to take him." Rufus crossed his legs and leaned against the window as he faced Rude with a smug smile.

"It's none of your business Rufus. Just know that if you touch him again, I will castrate you. It doesn't matter if we're lovers or not, you touch him and you won't be able to touch anyone else ever again." Rude looked at Rufus and took his sunglasses off, showing the unbridled anger in his eyes.

Rufus laughed, "You realize if it's not me that goes for him it'll be someone else right? He's not going to stay single forever and if you want him you better get the jump on him. You might be able to sway my thoughts on him with a few words but not everyone will be so easily dissuaded."

Rude narrowed his eyes before replacing his sunglasses. He was still trying to regain a hold on his temper when they finally reached the hotel. He followed Rufus inside and it took all the self-control in him not to strangle the man. He knew his reaction wasn't normal for someone who only loved Reno as a friend, and he was angry that it had been Rufus that showed him his true feelings for the red-head.


	10. Chapter 10

Reno was frustrated. Rude still hadn't called him and he knew it would be potentially dangerous if he called himself, Rude could be doing anything right then and Reno interrupting with a phone call could be the difference between Rude's life and death. It was driving Reno nuts not knowing what was going on though. Elena had tried to cheer him up when she visited after Stephanie left but it was obvious she wasn't in the best mood either. Most of the visits were short and taciturn on both sides. Reno wished Stephanie or Tseng would come see him. Better yet he wished Rude was home.

It had been four days since Rude had left and Reno's injuries felt better. He had to stay in the apartment until Tseng allowed him to leave and that probably wouldn't happen until all the medicine was gone, something Reno regretted terribly. His limp was almost gone and he rarely experienced the sharp stabbing pains from his hip or shoulder anymore but he was still forced to stay home. He hadn't been back to his apartment since they'd found the mouse, he didn't want to run into any more of them. He'd never admit it to anyone but he was scared to death of mice.

He spent that day doing what he usually did now that Rude wasn't around; sleep, watch TV, eat, and sleep. He was completely and unmeasurably bored. He squandered his time until lunch when he would order a pizza and wait for a visit from Elena. Today, however, it was Tseng who opened his door.

"Hey Tseng!" Reno said through a mouthful of pizza, "I thought you'd forgotten about me!"

"How on Earth could I forget my favorite red-head?" Tseng sat down by Reno and ran a hand over his face.

"Just how many red-heads do you know Tseng?" Reno asked as he continued to scarf down pizza.

"There are reason's you're my favorite." Tseng didn't know exactly how to tell Reno what he wanted to, but he figured that beating around the bush wasn't an option.

"How nice of you Tseng." Reno pushed the now empty pizza box away.

"Reno, Rufus is in the hospital and we have no idea what happened to Rude. Rufus said something about Wutai and he especially mentioned you, he mentioned you several times actually. We think it's the same people who tried to get ahold of you last time the President was attacked." Tseng folded his hands and closed his eyes to block out the look Reno was giving him.

"If Rude's in trouble why the fuck are we here?" Reno jumped up and, ignoring the pain in his hip, ran and fetched his uniform and EMR.

"It's not as simple as just going to get him Reno. They could be anywhere in Wutai, they might not even be in Wutai at all. I've already sent Elena down there to check things out but I'm not sure just what she'll find." Tseng watched as Reno dressed with fervor, as if every second spent in the apartment was a second wasted.

"Like hell it's not that simple! You give me a chopper and an hour and I'll have Rude back safe and sound." Reno said as he started to lace his shoes.

"Reno, you can't go. If you do and you get captured you won't do anyone any good. You're not ready for a mission yet." Tseng knew intuitively that Reno wouldn't listen to him at all. In fact he had already filled out forms that would allow him to take a chopper and do whatever it took to get Rude in case Reno decided to go against what he said.

"Like hell I'm not going Tseng. You've got a better chance of a one legged chocobo running fifty miles." Reno slammed the door shut behind him and limped down the hall and towards the elevator. There was no way in hell Tseng was going to stop him.

Rude was crouched on the floor of a very dirty building with his hands tied behind his back. He remembered only snatches of what had happened that put him in this position but he knew that Rufus was safe and he wasn't. It was unusual for people to try and grab a Turk when the President was only a few feet away. But Rude already knew why he had been targeted. He had no doubts that these were people from the same group that had attacked Reno only a few days ago. Rude hadn't been beaten or tortured yet, but he knew it would come once the men noticed he was awake. Rude had already been able to survey his surroundings and locate several exits without alerting them to the fact that he was awake. It probably hadn't been their best idea to let him keep his sunglasses on. He kept his breathing even and deep and his body relaxed while he scanned the room. Without lifting his head he could tell how many men were in the room and just how far from him they were simply by listening to them shift around. He wished Reno was there, but he was also glad that Reno wasn't.

One of the men was getting restless. He didn't seem ready to wait for Rude to 'wake up' and he decided to make it happen. Rude saw the boot coming towards his face and rolled out of the way before it could hit him. Of course the bad thing about his dodging the attack was that he was now on his back and getting up was nearly impossible when his hands were bound, especially after the man brought his foot down on Rude's chest.

Rude made no move or sound to show that the man caused him any pain, even when he heard something crack deep inside his chest while the man stomped on him. He knew the man was trying to extract a response from him but Rude wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Finally the man got tired of stomping on him and lifted him into a sitting position. Rude waited for the man to let go of him before he shot up from the position the man had placed him in and head-butted him in the chin. The man went down and Rude was standing as the other men began to converge around him. Rude strained against the rope holding his wrists behind him but it was no use and he knew it. He would have to kick and head-butt his way out of this, if he could get out of this.

The first man that charged him received a kick in the knee that sent him down screaming and the second received similar treatment. Rude then charged full force at a third man but he was only a few feet from his target when the end of a rifle connected with his skull. He saw stars and his vision swam as he went down. The rifle hit him a second time and Rude felt something sticky and wet begin to run down his bare scalp. He was then roughly picked up off the floor and set in a chair. He felt them tying ropes around him and he struggled but another hit with the rifle ended his attempts. He had lost his sunglasses when he hit the first man and the light of the building hit him full force as his head was shoved backwards.

"You try that again you Shinra scum and we won't be so merciful." The man holding Rude's head was panting in pain and Rude could see that his mouth was bleeding. Rude could tell that the man was obviously not happy about that fact.

"Boss why can't we just-" The second man was cut short by the one holding Rude.

"We can't just anything. We have to squeeze him for information like you'd squeeze a tick for blood." Rude assumed the man in front of him must be the Boss that the men from his last encounter had mentioned. "You know we'd have preferred to have your little red-haired friend but since you were around you'll have to do. You won't scream as much as I'd like but you'll still be buckets of fun to _interrogate._" Boss sneered as he said the last word and Rude suddenly felt his stomach drop. In his mind though he preferred it this way. It was either him or Reno and for him the choice wasn't hard to make. In some small part of him he was happy to be there in Reno's stead.

The boss spent a lot of time between asking his questions to simply punch Rude in the face. Rude didn't make a sound. He didn't say or do anything, just hung his head and occasionally grinned to himself. They might have gotten a much more informed Turk than they originally planned, but they also got one that was a master of silence.

Reno drove himself to the Shinra building and thought with mild amusement that the one time he was allowed to take himself was when he was directly disobeying orders from Tseng. He didn't think on that subject long though. He was busy going over just what his actions would be once he got into the building. Tseng must have warned someone that he could be coming and he probably told whoever it was to stop him but for all Reno cared it could have been his own mother and he would beat her down to get to a helicopter right now.

He made it to the helipad with no incidents. He was hailed by a few people who wanted to see how he was doing on the way but Reno brushed them off as quickly as they announced themselves. Reno pulled himself into the first helicopter he saw and inside there was a note taped to the controls.

_'I figured you wouldn't listen to me Reno. Elena is waiting for you just outside Wutai. Don't wreck the helicopter, I don't need any more paperwork than you've already given me._

_ -Tseng'_

Reno smiled as he pulled the note off and threw it out of the chopper. It was just like Tseng to say one thing and do another.

Once Reno had the helicopter parked outside Wutai Elena began to tell him what was going on as they made their way into the city.

"I've looked everywhere. Every run down building, every hotel, every bar, every window in this city has been looked through at least twice. I haven't seen or heard Rude. There's only one place that I couldn't get close enough to investigate and I think we should start there. It's a small house just behind that bar you and Rude got plastered at last time we were here and it's got about seven guys stationed outside with guns." She almost had to run to keep up with Reno.

"Good work Laney. We'll get him out of there easy-peasey-lemon-squeezey alright? I don't have a gun so I want you to take out the shooters outside with your before I head in. I want you to take out anyone you can that isn't me or Rude who even makes a move outside or inside that building are we clear?" Elena nodded. She hadn't seen Reno so serious in a long time.

"This could be a trap Reno." She panted trying to keep up with him.

"I know Laney. I also don't give a damn." Reno's hip was killing him but he ignored it.

Rude's eyes were clouded with blood and he didn't even bother trying to blink it out of his eyes anymore because it was flowing so thick and fast down his face. He knew that wasn't a good sign but he didn't care. Boss tilted his head up, "Are you going to tell me anything or are you mute?" Rude spat a mouthful of blood in the man's face and received another blow to the head in return. "I hate you fucking Turks. the sight of you makes my blood boil." Boss grabbed Rude's head and slammed his knee into Rude's already broken nose. He then moved back and allowed his men to go back to attacking every bit of Rude they could reach. Rude had kept a careful tally of the number of ribs they had broken but he was now more worried about those broken ribs piercing his organs. The men had done that once already but instead of letting Rude bleed to death they had force fed him several potions. Rude was fairly angry about that but he still wasn't making any noises as they pummeled him. Rude winced involuntarily as they began to rip the earrings he had out of his ears, ripping his ears open as they went. He cursed himself for having so many piercings but he had gotten them because Reno thought they looked good so he didn't regret them too much.

"Boss, I don't think this nuts gonna crack. Look, he's smilin' Boss, he's gettin' off on it or somethin'." One of the men lifted Rude's head and Rude laughed, the first noise he had made outside his labored breathing.

"Sick bastard." Boss punched Rude in the face. Rude couldn't help but laugh at being told he was a sick bastard by the man beating him to death.

"Maybe he's lost so much blood he's startin' to freak out." Another of the men suggested as he backed away from Rude.

"Clean him up a little and give him another potion or two. We can't have him enjoying this." Boss went outside as the three men began to mop the blood off Rude's face.

"I hate this." One of the men said with disgust as he tipped a potion into Rude's forced open mouth.

"Me too but we can't stop until we get the info out of him." The second man held up one of Rude's earrings. "Sucks that we had to rip these out, they were pretty boss piercings."

"Stop messin' with those and help clean this fucker up alright? We don't have all night to mess with this." The third man was busy pouring a potion over Rude's head to try and stop the blood that was now coursing out of several open wounds.

"Ready Laney?" Reno asked as he gripped his EMR tightly. He could see Rude through one of the windows from the position he and Elena had taken on top of a nearby building.

Elena cocked her gun and took aim, "Ready Reno."

"Fire away." Reno smiled as Elena's careful aim took out three of the men in quick succession. The other two men were quick to realize something was wrong but they couldn't pinpoint to source of the shooting so they began to fire wildly in all directions before Elena could take them out. One of the bullets narrowly missed her ear but she didn't even flinch and Reno had to hand it to her, her composure under pressure rivaled Rude's at the moment. The sixth man ran inside the building and Elena shot out one of the windows trying to hit him.

"Don't waste ammo Laney. I'll be back soon, try not to miss okay?" Elena stuck her tongue out at Reno as he gave her a cocky salute and jumped to the ground in front of the house where Rude was being held. Reno could see that all the men were on high alert now and he crouched down below the windows as he made his way to the back of the building.

Rude lifted his head with a start as he heard gunfire outside. He knew someone had come to save him and his heart danced in what was left of his chest. Then, as Boss ran into the room in fear Rude saw a small flash of red outside and his heart immediately stopped mid-tango. _Reno?_

"What the fuck!? How do they know where we are!?" Boss shouted as he made for Rude. "Get ready for a fight boys they're coming for the bastard now." He punched Rude in the face several times to release his anger. "Now we know why the fuck this bastard was smilin' don't we boys? I'd hope to god you're friends are better at fightin' than you are scum-bag else we're gonna have more than one hostage." Rude simply snorted out what was left of his nose, splattering blood all over his already stained shirt.

"Yoo-hoo!" Reno called through one of the windows, "I believe you were looking for a red-headed bastard not a bald one. I'm here to correct your mistake if you don't mind."

Boss laughed callously, "Like hell you are! Get your ass in here and fight like a man you Shinra bastard!"

"How stupid do you think I am?" Reno's voice was coming from a different direction now and Rude knew he was circling the house. "If I was going to fight like a man I'd have brought about four more people."

Boss was agitated and Rude could tell that the other men were scared out of their wits. They heard something thud on the roof and they all emptied their weapons in the direction of the sound. Reno then kicked down the back door or the building and struck one of the men in the neck with his EMR. "God you guys are stupid! It was a fuckin' rock you fucktarts!" Reno emphasized his last word by kicking the next man to charge him in the chest and then knocking the gun out of his hands before hitting him in the face with his EMR. With two of his comrades down the third man looked less than eager to engage Reno but Boss pushed him forward. Reno dodged the mans halfhearted attack and brought his EMR down on the back of the mans head.

Boss turned to Rude and pressed a knife against his temple. "You touch me and I'll slice his head open like a melon you Turk scum!"

Reno stopped, EMR held high. He didn't exactly know what to do anymore, the sight of Rude so horribly defenseless made him furious but the fact that the man was more than willing to kill Rude was apparent. Reno lowered his arm.

"Good scumbag. Now drop the stick and put your hands up against the wall." Reno did as he was told, hiding a grin. The second that man was away from Rude he would be in a world of hurt.

Boss moved forward and Reno had turned around and kicked the knife out of his hand before he could take another step. Reno then proceeded to beat the man senseless with his bare hands. With each punch he spoke another word, "This-is-why-you-don't-mess-with-Turks-you-filthy-mother-fucker!" Reno finished with a particularly powerful two-handed blow to the mans head. The man was near unconscious when Reno grabbed his EMR intent on finishing the job and sending the man into well deserved oblivion. He noticed then that some of the other men were beginning to stir and he decided against it, instead deciding to put the other men back under before they could come to their leaders rescue. He heard Boss start to stand and whipped around, EMR above his head, when Elena burst through the front door and shot the man in the back of the head. She then moved on to finish off the rest of the men.

"About time Laney! I thought you were gonna leave me hanging out to dry for a minute or two." Reno walked over and grabbed Boss' knife and then used it to cut Rude free. "How do you feel partner?" Rude groaned in pain. "They did a number on ya huh? Don't worry, we'll get you home and fix you up, good as new." Once Rude was free his arms shot out and wrapped Reno in a tight hug.

"I"m sorry." Rude said into Reno's neck as he pulled him close against his chest.

"You shouldn't be." Reno said returning the hug. "I'm just glad as hell you're alive."

Reno felt Rude's hold on him slacken and he tilted his friend into a sitting position to find that he had passed out. "Dammit! Elena, you got any potions on ya?" Elena shook her head. "We've gotta get him back to Midgar quick. I swear if you didn't already kill those guys Laney." He let the sentence hang as he heaved Rude out of the chair, wincing in pain. He ignored the protests from his hip and supported Rude's weight as best he could while he moved towards the door. Elena grabbed Rude's free arm and swung it over her shoulders as they moved towards the door.

"Gods above he's heavy." Elena whined as they made their way up the streets of Wutai.

"I know. Don't you dare drop him though Laney or I'll kill you." Reno panted with effort and pain as they dragged Rude's limp frame into the helicopter. Once Reno was sure Rude was strapped inside the helicopter safely they took off for Midgar in a rush.

Now it was Reno's turn to sit and worry in the hospital. He watched through an observation window as doctors worked on Rude's various wounds for what seemed like hours. They weren't able to fix all of the breaks and strains with materia and had to resort to old medical practices to fix Rude up. The doctors told him that once Rude had rested for a few days and started to heal naturally they would be able to finish him up with materia. Reno prayed to any god willing to listen that Rude would be as fine as the doctors told him he'd be.

Reno sat beside Rude's bed like a statue until Tseng came up behind him, "You told me it would only take an hour. It took about thirty minutes more than that."

Reno smiled, "Sorry boss-man, that's what happens when you let me do the job."

Tseng put a reassuring hand on Reno's shoulder, "You did good Reno. Rude would probably be dead if you had done what I asked."

Reno gave a small grunt. He rested his chin on his folded hands as he watched Rude's slow, even breathing.

Tseng sighed, "He'll be out of commission for a few days, the doctors also told me you screwed up your hip again during the rescue but you won't let them look at it."

"It's not important." Reno brushed Tseng's hand off his shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure Rude would want you to be fixed up too Reno." Tseng moved to Rude's bedside table and set a get well card on it.

"I'll do it later." Reno rested his head back on his hands.

"He's going to be under for a few more hours Reno. They gave him some pretty strong meds to keep him under and out of pain. Once he wakes up you should be able to stick a fork in his eye without him even flinching." Tseng chuckled dryly.

"Fine. I'll do it now. Happy?" Reno got up and squeezed Rude's hand. "I'll be back in a few partner. Gotta appease the boss-man ya know?"

When Reno came back Rude was still out of it. The doctor had simply put some more materia into Reno's hip and now Reno could move without pain. Reno was kind of glad the Rude was still out, he wanted to be there when his friend woke up, but he was also sad because that meant he would have to wait more for Rude to wake up. He ended up falling asleep in the chair next to Rude's bed, his forehead resting on the mattress of Rude's bed and his hand squeezing Rude's fingers.


	11. Chapter 11

When Rude woke up he thought for a moment that he was back in the dirty building, still tied to that chair. He sat up and then fell back, groaning in pain. He realized then where he was, he was in the hospital, he was injured but he was still alive, and Reno was laying near his bed in the most uncomfortable position Rude had ever seen in his life. Rude chuckled a little before grasping his chest in pain. A nurse walked in a short while later and gave him several painkillers.

As the medicine set in Rude watched Reno sleep. Half of him wanted to wake Reno up to get him out of the strange position he was in, the other half just wanted to watch Reno sleep. The first half won out and Rude grabbed the hand that was close to his own and gave it a shake. Reno woke with a start, snorting as he did. Rude couldn't help but laugh at him. His goggles were pushed halfway off his head and had left an imprint on his forehead. Reno's mouth was stretched in a comical 'O' and his eyes fluttered a bit as he fought to wake up fully.

"Hey there Rude." Reno said when he finally found the brain cells necessary to talk. "How ya fe-feeling?" Reno yawned widely.

"Never better." Rude still held Reno's hand in his own. "Thanks for saving me Reno."

Reno ran a hand through his hair and then pulled his other hand from Rude's grasp to straighten his goggles. "You'll have to thank Elena too. I was a little tardy to the party actually. Tseng didn't tell me until after he had already sent Elena after you. Otherwise you would've been out sooner."

Rude chuckled, "I think you came at just the right time. You made quite an entrance too if I recall correctly. 'You've got the wrong bastard' I believe that was your opening statement."

Reno stretched and then flopped his head back down on the mattress. "Yup. They sure as hell had the wrong guy, there was no way in hell they'd be able to get a damned word out of you. Hell half the time I have trouble getting you to talk and I'm twice as ruthless as they were." Reno laughed lightly.

Rude grinned, "You're only ruthless when it comes down to the last slice of pizza."

"Be that as it may, Im still twice as bad-ass as those fucktarts were." Reno nestled his head into the blankets and Rude felt a soft smile tug at his lips.

"How long was I out?" Rude sat up and adjusted his bed. He knew Reno loved to play with the electric hospital beds. It was the only thing he liked about hospitals.

"I'm not even sure how long _I_ was out. So far as I know it was only a day but with my ability to sleep through just about everything so long as no one touches me it could've been four." Reno opened his eyes. "What the hell are you so happy about?"

"You." Reno blushed and Rude laughed.

"I'm just a ray of sunshine ain't I?" Reno sat up and ran a hand through his hair and started trying to arrange it into it's properly ruffled formation.

"Yeah, you are." Rude leaned forward and grabbed Reno's hands from his hair. "I owe you my life Reno."

Reno blushed. "It's nothing I didn't already owe you."

Rude chuckled and pulled Reno towards him, happy when Reno willingly went where he was guided. "Still." Rude put both of Reno's hands into one of his own before reaching his own hand out to tilt Reno's face towards his own. "A life is a life."

A nurse walked in and Rude let Reno go and laid back, annoyed, as the nurse started to check his IV's and vitals.

Reno was confused as hell. His heart was pounding so fast in his chest that he thought it might explode at any second. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair as he sat back down. Tseng walked in, "Nice to see you among the living Rude."

Rude gave an annoyed grunt. He had just been seconds away from what he was going to make the best kiss of his life when the universe had turned against him and people had ruined the moment.

"Reno, we need to chat for a minute. Come outside." Tseng turned on his heel and left. Reno stood up and gave Rude a salute and a sigh before he followed.

Tseng stood in the hall, arms crossed. "What's wrong boss-man?"

"Rufus would like a word." Tseng seemed less than happy about that and Reno was even more upset about it.

"Why the hell does he want to see me?" Reno had a sneaking feeling that he knew exactly why Rufus wanted to see him.

"Didn't say. He just wants me to take you up to his office. Go tell Rude bye and then we'll go up. Don't tell him where you're going though, Rude is pissed as hell at the President and Rufus knows it." Tseng gave Reno a pointed look at these words.

Reno sighed. "Orders received captain." He gave a mock salute before turning back into the hospital room.

Rude looked up at him with a smile. The nurse pushed past Reno as he moved to stand beside Rude's bed. "Boss-man says I've got an appointment I didn't make."

Rude's eyes narrowed. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that it's with Rufus."

"You didn't hear it from me." Reno sighed and ran his fingers along the back of Rude's hand. "I'll be back ASAP alright partner?"

"You better be." Rude growled and grabbed Reno's wandering fingers. Reno blushed and swallowed. He had no idea why Rude was suddenly making him feel hot and bothered.

"Don't worry, I will." Reno gave Rude a cocky smile before exiting the room.

Tseng led Reno to Rufus' office, only barely seeming to register that Reno was in Lala land. Once Reno spotted Rufus however his head snapped back to the present and out of the small fantasy world where he dreamed things that made sense. Of course, for some reason Rude making him feel that way didn't strike him as something that didn't make sense, it was just something that struck him as odd.

"Good to see you Reno. Tseng, you may leave us." Tseng bowed himself out of the office. Reno wished he could follow but instead stood with his hands in his pockets.

"How's Rude?" Rufus asked as he pushed his files to one side.

"He'll live." Reno arranged his facial features into the coldest expression he could muster.

"Good to hear. Sit please." Rufus gestured at the chair across from his desk.

"I'd rather stand _sir_." Reno threw as much contempt into the last word as he could.

"Then I'm no longer asking. Sit." Reno did as he was told, albeit slowly.

Rufus pressed his hands together and pushed the tips of his fingers under his nose as he closed his eyes and sighed, "Reno I think we're on the wrong foot right now aren't we?"

"We are." Reno folded his arms and sat back in his chair.

"How can we fix that?" Rufus opened his eyes and gave Reno a passionate glance.

"I could leave." Reno said looking away from Rufus' hungry gaze.

"I don't think that will work Reno." Rufus stood and Reno sat bolt upright.

"I think that would work just fine." Reno gripped the armrests on his chair as Rufus circled the desk.

"But I don't think that. Your friend Rude issued quite a threat to me the other day." Rufus smirked and leaned back against his desk.

"What kind of threat?" Reno knew Rufus wasn't going to be quite so pleasant soon.

"It involved you. Apparently I'm not allowed to touch you ever again. You know I don't like being told what to do Reno." Reno gulped audibly as he ran a hand over his face. _Rude threatened Rufus Shinra? About me?_

"I know that. Why are you talking to me instead of Rude then?" Reno didn't want Rufus talking to Rude, but he did want to know his reasons for not doing so.

"Because I want to prove to him that I can do what I want, when I want, and he has no say in that." Rufus bent down and placed his hands on Reno's wrists, pressing them into the fabric of the chair.

Reno's eyes narrowed. "I'm not your sex toy Rufus."

Rufus gave Reno a wicked grin. "You are whatever I say you are." He leaned in to kiss Reno but Reno turned his head.

"Like hell I am! Face it, you can't do a damn thing if I don't want it. Being your sperm trash can isn't part of my job description." Reno made no attempt to physically hurt Rufus, but he desperately wanted too.

"No, but following my orders is." Rufus whispered into Reno's ear as he nibbled the soft lobe.

Reno pulled away from Rufus' wandering mouth and tried to remove his hands as well but Rufus had him pinned down. He hadn't thought that Rufus would be as strong as he was but then again, Reno wasn't super strong himself, he was just quick.

Rufus pressed his lips to Reno's ear, "Sit still dammit!" He whispered as he tried to sit down on Reno's lap.

"Fuck this shit!" Reno sat up quickly, throwing Rufus to the floor. "I'm not your fucking whore yo! Keep your hands to yourself along with everything else got it yp? And I don't give a damn that you don't like being ordered yo! You're getting ordered and that's that! Either you keep little Rufus in your pants or I'm ripping his head off along with yours yo! If you touch me again I'm suing you! You may not listen to physical threats but I know damn good and well that you'll listen to legal ones yo!" Reno balled his fists in anger as he restrained himself from hitting the man sprawled on the floor in shock in front of him.

Rufus picked himself off the floor and dusted off his shirt. "Fine. Get out of my sight you teasing little bastard."

Reno didn't need to be told twice. He stomped all the way back to the elevator and jammed the button for the hospital floor as hard as he could. He was seething as he made his way back to Rude's room. At the sight of Rude he softened a bit.

"How'd it go?" Rude asked as he sat up.

"Piss-ant tried to jump my nuts again." Reno said as he flopped down into the chair beside Rude's bed.

Rude felt anger lick his insides. "And?"

"And I threw the bastard off. Told him I wasn't his whore and that he needed to keep his hands to himself yo." Reno scooted his chair closer to the top of Rude's bed.

"Good job." Rude leaned back into his pillows with a happy smile.

"Wasn't a hard one. This time I didn't give a damn if I hurt his ass since I wasn't being paid to protect it." Reno propped his feet on Rude's bed.

Rude grunted in agreement. "How's the hip?"

"It's fine. How's the every bone in your body?" Reno grinned.

"Just dandy." Rude felt Reno's feet sift on his mattress as he closed his eyes.

"Good. What should we do when we get home? I've been bored as shit while you were gone yo." Reno closed his eyes. He had spent most of the night awake and worried and he was starting to feel tired again.

"Pizza and a movie." Rude watched Reno as the red-head started to fall asleep.

"Sounds good yo. Wake me when they let you outta here." Reno smiled and fell asleep.

Rude sighed as he watched Reno's features take up the guise of a peaceful sleep. It didn't take long for him to drift off himself but he spent his last few waking moments watching Reno's even breathing, glad to be home.


	12. Chapter 12

Rude spent the next week at the hospital in relative boredom. He enjoyed the peace and quiet of the hospital but he enjoyed it more when Reno was there. Reno visited daily and usually stayed until a doctor forcibly removed him from the chair beside Rude's bed. After a few days of this the doctors simply let Reno sleep there. Reno would often sneak out of work when he thought Tseng wasn't paying attention and visit Rude until Tseng would drag him from the room and back to his office where there was an ever growing pile of paperwork waiting for him.

Rude was able to leave the room for short periods of time after his second materia dose and walk around the hospital, usually with Reno in tow.

"How's work?" Rude asked as they walked down the hall.

"I think it's still looking for me." Reno had a bounce in his step as he let Rude control the pace they took.

"Give it any reason to leave you alone today?" Rude had enough pain medication that he only felt occasional twinges from his now only bruised ribs.

"Nope." Reno walked with his hands behind his head.

Rude grunted. They had walked up and down that hallway several times and he was starting to get bored, even though his body appreciated the exercise.

"Reno, don't you have work?" Tseng's voice sounded clear and loud in the hall.

"Don't you boss-man?" Reno lowered his arms to his sides.

"Already finished mine. Get back to your office." Tseng ordered with a slight jerk of his head.

"See ya Rude." Reno gave Rude a cocky salute and raced past Tseng and out of the hospital.

"You shouldn't encourage him to leave work Rude." Tseng scolded with a smile as he walked Rude back to his room.

"I don't." Rude let them both inside the room before sitting on his bed.

Tseng snorted lightly, "Listen, you're getting out of here today. I'm not letting Reno leave until shift is officially over though, I heard about your bet so I figured I should help enforce some of the rules while you're not able to. The doctor said you won't need to take any medicine but he's giving you some pain killers just in case. Hopefully Reno hasn't destroyed your apartment while he was unsupervised. I'm giving you another three days to recover but then I really need you to come back. You won't be going on any missions for awhile but unfortunately there's a mountain of paperwork waiting for you. Stephanie, Elena, and I have tried to catch up on it ourselves and Reno's even put in a small amount of effort to help but the pile keeps getting bigger. You're going to have a few boring days of office duty once you come back." Tseng smiled warmly as Rude gave an amused grunt. "Stephanie said she can take you home and help you get set up over her lunch break. I think she wants to help you plot ways to get Reno to mess up. He's starting to show signs of strain again." Tseng chuckled, "He's lasted longer than I thought he would."

"Same here." Rude chuckled dryly as Tseng left the room.

When Stephanie came to pick him up Rude was itching to leave. He had had enough of the hospital to last him a lifetime and he was looking forward to pizza and movies with Reno that night, it was his favorite pastime.

Stephanie smiled as she drove, "So how you feeling Rude?"

"Better." Rude grunted shortly.

"So what are you guys gonna do tonight?" Stephanie asked with a wicked grin.

"Pizza and movies." Rude raised an eyebrow at her behind his sunglasses.

"So unromantic Rude!" Stephanie struck the steering wheel in exasperation.

"I didn't know I was supposed to be romantic with him." Rude colored a little at her words but thankfully she didn't seem to notice.

"Oh knock the shit off Rude I know you like him." Stephanie had never been so bold with him before, it worried Rude more than a little.

Rude didn't respond immediately. Instead he led the way to his apartment with his brows knit together. He didn't want to admit to Stephanie something he had only recently admitted to himself. It still seemed so personal.

"Listen Rude have you ever thought about just how you could win this bet?" Stephanie crossed her arms, sick of waiting for a response.

"Yes. Reno will crack eventually and I just have to pick up a one night stand sometime." Rude opened his apartment and briefly toyed with the idea of just shutting the door in Stephanie's face. His better side won out though as he stepped aside to let her in.

"You can end it with less work than that. Just fuck Reno." Stephanie smirked at Rude's gaping face. "You haven't thought of that yet? All you have to do to win both halves of the bet is to screw Reno. Then he'll have had sex same as you. Instant win."

Rude frowned. "I don't want him to think it's like that."

"Like what?" Stephanie's smug smirk remained.

"I don't want him to think that it's just to win the bet." Rude frowned as he realized that he'd just admitted that he wanted Reno when only a few moments ago the idea was to personal to discuss.

"So you do want him!" Stephanie's smile widened and Rude had a powerful urge to forcibly wipe it from her face.

"Yes." Rude went to his room, shutting the door on Stephanie as he changed into more casual clothes.

"I knew it!" Rude could almost see her victorious fist-pump.

"Keep it to yourself." Rude grunted as he pulled on a comfortable t-shirt, vaguely noting that some of his clothes were still pink. He had only replaced about half of them.

"Fine. But you've got to do something about it Rude! By the way, you don't have a lot of time left in that bet. It's been over half a month. You've got less than a week left before he wins. If I were you I'd do something about that." Stephanie jumped as Rude jerked open the door.

"It's been three weeks already?" Rude was genuinely shocked. He had thought he had more time than that. He then remembered just how much time he had spent in the hospital and out guarding Rufus.

"Yeah, it has. My idea looking any more appealing yet? Outside the fact that you'd be screwing Reno which I know is appealing to you. If neither of you makes the other fail then the bet wasn't worth it because neither of you will have actually won." Stephanie crossed her arms in front of her and watched the play of emotions on Rude's face that was rarely ever seen.

Rude was indecisive. He _did_ want Reno and he wanted to win the bet. He also didn't want to force Reno away with the thought that he was just using him so he could win. He voiced his thoughts to Stephanie, the most words she had heard him say in a long while, and then he simply sat slouched with his chin resting on his hands.

Stephanie sat next to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm pretty sure that so long as you don't rub in the fact that you won or act like it was a one time deal he won't get mad. You've just got to convince him you want it."

"Not _it,_ him." Rude corrected.

"Him." Stephanie smiled. "Just do something bold, it'll catch him off guard." Rude snorted. "Don't believe me?" Rude didn't have to respond for her to know the answer. "Trust me Rude, if you get him when he's least expecting it he'll be putty in your hands."

Rude allowed Stephanie to continue making suggestions about just how he should, as she put it, _ensnare_ Reno but he didn't actually listen. He knew what he had to do, he just wondered if he would be able to pull it off.

Authors Note: Sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. I've been a tad busy studying for a super hard test. I'll be quicker next time.


	13. Chapter 13

Once Stephanie left Rude set to work putting his plan in motion. The first part of that plan involved making damned sure that Reno hadn't broken anything while he was gone. The place was surprisingly clean even though Reno had been left alone by himself for over a week. Rude had seen Reno's apartment and had been afraid that his own wouldn't be in much better shape but thankfully Reno had been gentle on his apartment.

The second part of his plan involved going out and grabbing enough beer to keep them both plastered for a month. Rude didn't want Reno drunk but considering that it took about three cases of beer before Reno seemed to feel anything he figured a few beers wouldn't hurt. The third part of his plan was to order the pizza he had been craving for weeks. He then waited on the sofa for Reno to get home and for the pizza to arrive. He was apprehensive but excited as he watched the clock on the wall click farther away from six o'clock.

He almost had a heart attack when Reno burst through the front door and jumped on him.

"You're HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" Reno yelled with glee as he jumped on Rude's lap and wrapped his arms around his head.

"Reno!" Rude's voice was muffled by Reno's shirt.

"What's that Rude?" Reno let Rude's head go.

"Stop yelling!" Rude wasn't entirely surprised by the enthusiasm of his greeting, however he was surprised to have Reno straddling him already. He had planned that for later on.

"I'm not yelling I'm SCREAMING!" Reno jumped off Rude's lap and ran to the kitchen. "Yo you got the booze! YES!"

"Reno if you don't quiet down my neighbors are going to kill me." Rude got up and shut the door to the apartment.

"Fine yo don't pretend you're happy to see me!" Reno threw Rude a can of beer and then sat down at the table with an expectant look on his face.

"What?" Rude asked as he opened his beer and sat down.

"Food?" Reno cocked his head to one side like a quizzical dog.

"On it's way." Rude smiled as he took a sip.

"Pizza?" Reno's grin stretched from ear to ear.

"What else would I get?" Reno pumped a fist into the air in triumph.

"I love how you know exactly what I'm thinkin' yo!" Reno chugged his beer and grabbed another.

"Slow down Reno you haven't even eaten yet." Reno shot Rude a cocky grin as he took a slow sip of his beer.

"Where's the fun in going slow?" Reno calmed noticeably though as he reclaimed his seat at the table. Just then the doorbell rang and Reno was immediately up and running screaming, "PIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZA!"

Rude shook his head and followed to find himself face to face with a nervous looking delivery girl.

Rude handed her the gil and took the pizza as Reno clapped and continued screaming 'pizza'.

"Is he okay?" The girl asked as she pocketed the gil.

"It's normal. Trust me." Rude spared her a friendly smile and then shut the door. "What did I say about being quiet Reno?"

"What your neighbors do to you is not my concern." Reno winked as he began eating pizza.

"What I do to _you_ after my neighbors are done with me is very much your concern." Rude smirked as he began to eat.

"What movie shall we taunt tonight?" Reno asked after he had eaten his fill.

"You pick. I don't care." Rude sat on the couch and set his beer can on the end table.

"Random choice it is then!" Reno grabbed the first video that he saw and popped it into the player before jumping onto the couch with Rude, not once setting down his beer.

They watched for awhile, Reno spouting criticism and insulting the actors with enthusiasm. Rude even threw in a few remarks himself.

Reno laid back on the couch and laid his feet in Rude's lap. "I missed this yo."

"Me too." Rude looked over at Reno and flashed him a grin.

Reno suddenly felt his pulse sky-rocket from the look in Rude's eyes. Reno's mouth suddenly went dry as the look continued. _How the hell did I get this hot from just a look?_ Reno questioned as he sat up slightly, propping himself on his elbows.

Rude decided to enact his plan then. He stood up and then bent his face over Reno's, giving him one last grin before he claimed those lips for his own. He ran a hand through crimson locks before gripping them and pulling the red-head deeper into the kiss.

Reno's heart stopped at the contact. His brain function stopped as well and for a moment he simply sat there completely not understanding what had just happened. His baser instincts kicked in though and he pressed his mouth firmer against Rude's and began kissing back. He head Rude moan slightly as he tangled his hands in his hair. He could feel Rude nibbling playfully at his lips and he closed his eyes and pulled Rude down on top of him.

Rude began to kiss every part of Reno's face and neck he could reach before he whispered gently into his ear, "Gods I love you Reno."

Reno moaned at that and Rude scraped his teeth along the sensitive lobe earning a delightful shudder from the smaller man beneath him. "Rude you have no idea how glad I am to hear that." Reno ran his hands along Rude's chest before placing a small bite on his collar bone.

Rude chuckled, "I think I do actually." He ground himself against Reno's growing erection earning a hiss of pleasure from Reno.

Reno struggled to collect himself but before he could think of a suitable reply Rude's hand was running under his shirt and talking was forgotten. Reno arched at the feel of Rude's lightly calloused hands rasping along his skin before he pulled the man down for another kiss.

Rude worked quickly to unbutton Reno's shirt and reveal the smooth muscle underneath. He placed a kiss in the center of Reno's chest before flicking a taut nipple with his tongue. Reno arched and Rude took the hardening nub between his lips to tease it with his teeth. Reno's fingernails dug into his shoulder as he worked his way across the smooth expanse of pale skin to the other pink pleasure center.

After being so sufficiently teased Reno pulled Rude's face to his own, determined not to bottom without a fight. He slowly brought them back into a sitting position as he slipped Rude's shirt off over his head. He traced the hard muscles on Rude's chest and whispered in his ear, "I really wish they hadn't taken your earrings yo, I'd have something to play with right now. Since my preferred toys are gone I'm just going to have to make due with what's left." Reno nipped Rude's ear before gently sucking on it.

Rude gave a low sound, half amusement, have pleasure, as he pushed Reno's shirt off his shoulders, tracing his back with his fingers as he went. He hooked his thumbs into Reno's waistband and drew him into his lap as he placed a gentle bite on his shoulder. "I think you have plenty left to play with." He said this as low and seductively as he could, grinning as he felt Reno shudder against him.

Reno chuckled and then hissed with pleasure as Rude's hand stroked his inner thigh. "You aren't playin' fair." Reno panted as his eyes widened in pleasure while Rude continued the motion.

"All's fair in love and war." Rude sucked and nipped at Reno's collarbone and Reno grabbed his head to try and pull him closer.

"And is this love or war?" He asked pulling back slightly to see Rude's reaction to his words.

"Love. War is a bit more bloody yes?" Rude grinned toothily before pulling Reno down to his mouth.

"This could be bloody to if you like it that way." Reno murmured as he nipped his way down Rude's throat.

"Not this time Reno." He pushed the red-head back down to the couch, removing his belt as they went.

"Is that a promise for more yo?" Reno gazed seductively at Rude as he hooked his thumbs in the other man's waistband and pulled his pants down.

"What do you think?" Rude stopped Reno's mouth with a kiss as they finished undressing each other.

"_I_ think that I really hope that was a promise." Reno hooked his legs around Rude's hips.

Rude pressed his forehead against Reno's letting his breath play over the man's parted lips, "Then it's a promise."

"Good." Reno leaned up and closed the gap between them.

Rude pressed himself into the kiss. It was almost as if his lips were blistering at the contact and yet the only way to sooth the burn was simply to touch more of Reno.

"The bet?" Reno murmured against Rude's lips.

"Forget about it. The bet's off." Reno smiled and pulled Rude closer.

Authors Note: I got them halfway, I can't write anymore without blushing and giggling like a little school girl so you might want to shoot me but I think you can use your imaginations and figure out where it goes from here. Be as pervy as you like, Reno & Rude would appreciate that. ;p


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